Unpaid Lunch : A Podcast About Work
Everyone hates work, but almost all of us have to do it. Join Heavy D with a new guest each week, asking the dumbest questions about their job we can come up with.
Basically just people talking about how much they don't want to work. That's all.
We try to stay under your lunch time so you have time to cry before clocking back in. usually a guest stops by to tell us a story about their crappy job.
Remember that nobody is stopping you from quitting your job, But you.
Unpaid Lunch : A Podcast About Work
10,000 Downloads Celebration,Winter Olympic Dreams, I Swear To Drunk We Are Not God, Dolphins Aren't Birds, Fiji Apples and Heavy D Is A Fraud
Ever wondered what happens when you mix a stoned busboy, a makeshift studio in the yard, and an unpredictable podcast schedule? That's just the start of our chaotic adventure as we celebrate reaching 10,000 downloads! From the absurdity of building Monroe a toll booth to our hilarious debates on farm life, grammar nuances, and the unexpected journey through our favorite video games, this episode is a rollercoaster of laughs and personal stories. Join us as we reminisce about our early jobs and the hilarious mishaps that followed, all while trying to balance our love for collecting memorabilia with real-world financial woes.
Get ready for a wild ride through politics, career paths, and the absurdity of healthcare night shifts. We tackle everything from "Taxation is theft" banter to the whimsical fame of Weisberg and the punk scene of our high school days. Laugh along as we ponder the mysteries of rollerblading versus skateboarding, and the unexpected detours life throws our way, including teaching roles and our penchant for quirky fame. Plus, our family-friendly wrestling podcast gets a special nod thanks to my son's infectious humor and energy, proving that sometimes the best laughs come from the most unexpected places.
Wrap up with us in a whirlwind of food preferences, childhood dreams, and the hilariously mundane details of everyday life. As we dream about Winter Olympic glory (with curling being our most realistic aspiration), our banter shifts to anti-basketball discussions and musings about sleepy celebrity hangouts. From technological challenges to quirky interactions with Jehovah's Witnesses, this episode is packed with humor, laid-back banter, and reflections on life's unpredictable twists. So grab your headphones and join us for an unscripted, heartwarming, and thoroughly entertaining episode that captures the essence of our podcast's chaotic charm!
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Clock Out And Tune In.
On your break. Today, toad's back in the studio celebrating our 10,000th episode. We're building Monroe a toll booth and keys better with buttons than me. Plus a new question from our favorite vet All right Time to clock out for lunch If somebody says how are you doing and somebody says I'm doing good?
Speaker 2:How do you feel about that?
Speaker 3:Versus.
Speaker 2:I'm doing well because I'm doing good is like I am accomplishing something. What's the quote Superman does?
Speaker 1:We've got to get your mic closer to you. You've either got to use that one or you can take it off the stand and hold it, I'm just going to do this. Yeah, just scoot under it and lean back. You're going to be great. You're going to do this. Yeah, just scoot under it and lean back. You're going to be great. You're going to be great. Can I talk now? Yeah, no, you're good you can talk now.
Speaker 1:Do your thing, what thing you want me to intro to the podcast now? Is that what you want me to do? Would you like me to do the intro?
Speaker 2:I don't care. I didn't mean to.
Speaker 1:Oh, now you interrupted it. Now I'm going to do it again, but I'm not going to cut it. I'm going to let everybody know. I'm going to let everybody know. On the 10,000, 10,000 download episode, you fucked up the intro. Welcome into Unpaid Lunch and thanks for spending your break with us. I'm Heavy D Monroe's here, key's here, toe's back in studio. He doesn't have anything else to do, I don't, it's just he literally has so much hay in the back of his truck I just see 12 bales I walked outside nine bales of hay and three of straw oh well, I don't think I could tell you the difference
Speaker 1:one looks like a straw yeah, I could, but not from like if I just sit in the back of a truck instantly, I'm just like it's hey, that's fair yeah, you ain't a farmer I think you could talk like that.
Speaker 1:Uh, just talking like normal. You sound like that. It's like gabby trying to do a country accent. Gabby tries to do a country accent. I'm like, just talk normal. Let's see you sound like that. That fake thing. You're doing 10,000 downloads. Yeah, we hit that this week, which is out of nowhere. Hold on, we got this thing. There you go, it's been outsourced, it's still good for me. Well, you've called in for work forever.
Speaker 3:You do encourage it. It's never given a schedule.
Speaker 1:That's true. It is bad management honestly.
Speaker 2:Honestly, it's a terrible management.
Speaker 1:It's bad management. You know what? It's Rhino's fault.
Speaker 2:I agree he's not here, it's.
Speaker 1:Rhino's fault. Bad management. Who, tim the management isn't here, he doesn't say much, but when he does, it's devastating.
Speaker 2:All hell is broken loose.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I told you, he's just in the background. He's DJ Kali. It works out great. Yeah, so we haven't had an episode since you were here last.
Speaker 2:You gotta get a little deeper on your pool.
Speaker 1:We don't have any other friends anymore.
Speaker 2:I'm here because I don't either.
Speaker 1:We have a lot of people who want to come on the podcast, but not at like 1130 on a Sunday night. It's like in the middle of the night.
Speaker 2:I don't have a lot going on. The ducks are in bed. I'm done for the day. It's really just convenient.
Speaker 1:You're a quarter mile up the road. Everybody's asleep, and your whole family. There's nothing else to do, why not?
Speaker 2:I'd be playing Hitman right now if I was.
Speaker 1:Oh which.
Speaker 2:Hitman, are you playing? They have a new mode which is like it's across all of the games.
Speaker 3:Oh.
Speaker 2:And you get specific contracts. Oh, it's a lot of fun.
Speaker 1:That's cool. I love Hitman games. It's the best. I forget about them. How much I like them.
Speaker 2:I love the Assassin's Creed stuff too.
Speaker 1:Yes, you don't like Assassin's.
Speaker 2:Creed. I like some of the Assassin's Creed.
Speaker 1:I always kind of get.
Speaker 2:I like Black Flag a lot.
Speaker 1:Yeah, black Flag, that's what everybody says. Black Flag. A chip that I work with loves Black Flag. It's what he prefers. I loved the second one. I played the snot out of that game.
Speaker 2:Which one was that? Which podcast is?
Speaker 1:this. Can I cuss on this podcast? Yeah, I played the shit out of that one. I forget. We don't cuss on the other podcasts very much, oh, really. We cuss a little bit. We're under the explicit number though, so that podcast actually gets more random views because it's not explicit.
Speaker 2:It's family-friendly.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's not, though they listen to it and we're literally just talking about blood and guts and poop.
Speaker 3:It's pretty much like this podcast, but you don't swear.
Speaker 1:It's like this podcast, just with turnbuckles. I like that, but we don't swear. Yeah, my son's on it. I love your son. He's great, he's actually.
Speaker 2:He carries the podcast, actually the wrestling podcast he literally got all the good parts of brianna and none of the parts of you. Yeah, that's true except no, he's as funny as I was.
Speaker 1:I was going to say he's funny, yo, he is as funny as you, he's funny.
Speaker 2:It's like he's got all the humor that you have without the trauma. Yeah, it's wonderful.
Speaker 1:Yet yeah.
Speaker 2:Hold up, that's coming. I mean, the kid is legitimately one of the finest people I've met.
Speaker 1:I have nothing to do with him. I don't believe that at all. I feed him chicken nuggets. You feed him, I just feed the boy nuggets.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I feed that boy a lot.
Speaker 1:So he's in football shape right now. You know what I mean, and it was evident on the court. Yeah, basketball. I was like Clay. You are in football shape, for sure. You look like you've been playing center for six months.
Speaker 2:That looks like what's happening though, didn't he?
Speaker 1:yeah, he was playing lots out, no joke he has been.
Speaker 2:Well, I told you he's a very popular topic he can't really listen to this podcast, so we're just good.
Speaker 1:I mean, he is fucking on point yeah, that, uh, he. He was like he was talking about halfway through the season not having a sack, and then he had like three in a game.
Speaker 3:Yeah, three in that one game.
Speaker 1:Oh, this is not about work, but now it is um. Rhino is actually injured. So, like I said, if we had fma, he would have that seems like injured how he's hurt man. He's got like a nerve problem on his back, something he was complaining about it forever here. And we bitched about it forever and then it actually turns out it was real. So sorry, I guess we should have mocked him less or more? Or more. Yeah, it seems like you know. Whatever, it worked either way.
Speaker 2:It would be wrong for us to not mock him as his friends.
Speaker 1:So yeah, so we've always tried to be transparent with our viewers. Not a transparent, transparent.
Speaker 2:Whichever?
Speaker 1:Yeah, transplant, transplant Something.
Speaker 2:Couldn't think of a good joke off the word transplant, so he's got to move on.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I have to move on. I didn't have anything from transplant because it was going to be offensive. I saw the filter running. It was pushing through. You ever have, god? I sound like I'm really loud, you are.
Speaker 2:I'm glad that we shared that. Look, everybody went. Yeah, that's your thing actually turns out connection.
Speaker 1:I'm glad that we shared that. Look, Everybody went yeah, that's your thing. Actually Turns out. What Turns out, that's your thing.
Speaker 3:I'm good.
Speaker 2:We had a really good moment there.
Speaker 1:Oh man, monroe needs a, we need to get Monroe. I thought in this corner over here, where these board games are, I thought we could build like a, a booth, a booth yeah, three steps that he's just in and there's like plate glass you know, and he's just got like like he's got like everything back there with him. Yeah, I think it would be great I like it? Hey, look this up.
Speaker 2:It seems more important when somebody separated from the group interjects. Yeah, it does I automatically assign more weight to that if they're not directly involved. That's real.
Speaker 1:That's real Well, hopefully, when we put a studio in the yard and get the gear out of the dining room, you'd think we'd go just keep buying more gear. It's like you know what. We need New mic, so we've got to have a mic for a mic. Let's just get a tent. We can just record, I don't. Let's get a tent.
Speaker 2:Do tents have Wi-Fi Sure?
Speaker 1:We're going to plug Wi-Fi in.
Speaker 2:You'll get.
Speaker 1:Wi-Fi in your yard? Probably not, man. This house is old Do the mesh, the what Wi-Fi mesh?
Speaker 2:I have the mesh. I got Wi-Fi everywhere.
Speaker 1:Can't hide money.
Speaker 2:I don't think it's a money thing. I think it's a poor management of funds thing. I care more about Wi-Fi and Spotify than oh. Yeah, we have the highest running internet that you can get, so I can plug it directly into my Xbox.
Speaker 1:I spend the majority of my money on wrestling figures. It's very evident.
Speaker 2:Yeah I get. Two thirds of my budget is Star Trek memorabilia.
Speaker 1:It's very evident where my money goes, and then you know, there it is.
Speaker 2:Yeah, this is what off the rails. I blame you for talking.
Speaker 3:My bad, I'll stay quiet. I'll stay quiet now.
Speaker 1:You weren't supposed to say anything ever, so something I want to bring up was what was your first job?
Speaker 2:My first job, I think I was a busboy at a seafood restaurant and I was really bad at it because I was stoned all the time, like a busboy is supposed to be. Yeah, I was really bad at it because I was stoned all the time Like a busboy is supposed to be. Yeah, I was going to say, that's just. It was a fine dining restaurant called Regatta.
Speaker 3:And Steve.
Speaker 2:Zahn used to come in there all the time. And I was yeah, like that thing you do.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's what you put him towards was. That was uh, that thing you do.
Speaker 2:But like I was very fun and, uh, I had a connection to people, yeah, and so nobody wanted to fire me because I was bad at it, and so they found me a job in the kitchen and then, when I eventually got fired from there for my stuff, Whatever? Connections. I went directly across the hallway and got hired at Ruby Tuesdays as a server.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's a better job.
Speaker 2:I was a terrible server I can see that.
Speaker 3:And I got in a physical altercation with a customer.
Speaker 2:And rather than fire me, they moved me to the kitchen where I became a kitchen manager and ran shit. I was lucky to never get fired. It was always amicable and I always deserved it. But I got great recommendations and I constantly failed up.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I could see you as a busboy.
Speaker 2:I was a terrible busboy because I didn't give a fuck. Yeah, I would just take my time.
Speaker 1:Not even cleaning this table, I would talk to customers and bullshit around.
Speaker 2:You see how easily I get distracted. I was a stoner.
Speaker 1:That's the way it was. Yeah, what were you going to do? But it was a really fancy restaurant and I wasn't a fancy person. I've talked about mine a few times, but you know we're 47 episodes deep now, though Wait hold on what was your first job. That's what I'm saying. That's where I'm getting to. I wanted to go around the table You're going to go. It's not a round table, listen. My first job was Hardee's In Jenkins. Yeah, bitch, listen, I worked. They had chicken still.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, and the biscuits. Yeah, dude, yeah that was where I was at.
Speaker 1:I was working. I worked like the chicken. When was that oh?
Speaker 2:two Really.
Speaker 1:Probably Maybe 03. Chicken when was that? Oh two, really probably.
Speaker 2:oh uh, maybe oh three something like that after high school or during during.
Speaker 1:I think maybe I'm wrong about that, but no wait, maybe it's right after high school. Yeah, maybe it's right after high school. It's probably. Oh five, um, let's just admit I don't know. Uh, let's just go there. Whatever's on my resume.
Speaker 2:That's still on there.
Speaker 1:No, um, uh, I wouldn't put the four days I worked there. Where is me? I don't count that as actual employment. Okay, let me tell you what happened. Um, we closed it like 10. And so it was like talking about cleaning down at like 9.50, right. So it was like cleaning down the chicken, chicken trays and like the, because you know it is all handmade, that chicken fucking, you gotta, is it really? Yeah, dude, it's a process and it sucks. That's why they don't do it anymore, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's not cost effective. Shit was so good though. Yeah, not cost effective, it was great.
Speaker 2:Our kids will never know the joy.
Speaker 1:Lee's Extra Crispy is pretty close, it's pretty close to. Hardee's.
Speaker 2:If it weren't for.
Speaker 1:Anyway, sorry. So I cleaned down the chicken stuff, you know, and it was like $9.58. Get a drive-thru order for a 50-piece chicken? I quit, I quit, I quit, I left, I was like I'm not doing it, I'm not fucking doing it.
Speaker 3:There's not a chance. I'm doing it. No, thank you.
Speaker 1:I'm not making it. You have to make it and I was like I don't have to make it. I will not.
Speaker 2:I promise you I'm not going to do it. That's funny. I mean, I don't blame you. We had aggressive front of the house people that wouldn't just not do it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we got on the TikTok. We shared like a couple like people aggressively quitting. There's been a couple videos of like being mean and quitting, like I think it's unnecessary, it is, it's not smart. Yeah, quiet, quit, that's the best thing to do been a couple videos of like being mean and quitting like I think it's unnecessary.
Speaker 2:It is like smart yeah, quiet, quit.
Speaker 1:That's the best thing to do. That's so fun. Just stop working. Just what do you do here?
Speaker 2:oh, bob, really, in a week's work I only do about an hour of actual work that's the way to do it literally just stop working, but show up and just be there.
Speaker 1:I do so much work now and I didn't mean to do that, I didn't mean to like go from a job where I didn't really I didn't do anything, it was just easy. And now I have like responsible berries you should. You know I gotta do shit.
Speaker 2:Okay, but think about what he has to do Fuck it.
Speaker 1:If somebody dies, it'd be all right.
Speaker 2:It's fine. Like that's way worse, don't we mean?
Speaker 1:that's hard, yeah, it is, but what if our phones go down?
Speaker 2:I don't do anything. So anything I say it doesn't carry.
Speaker 1:I feel like I want to be like, uh, the lovely Keisha, everybody, everybody claps, yes, she walks by, oh, uh, yeah, yes.
Speaker 2:So where do you stand, like was all of you. Is this where you, uh, is this on the path that you intended? Like, did you intend to go towards tech? Did you intend to go towards, like, a medical thing? Like, was that? Is it something that you fell into, naturally?
Speaker 1:I don't think, um, I don't think I really ever had direction on what I was going to do. I think I just didn't care. Yeah and surprise, and I didn't care.
Speaker 2:I know there's a lot of things that you really care about, so you can't get in with that, I don't care.
Speaker 1:Well, I didn't care about that, though I don't care about what I was going to follow through with you, just wanted to do something, right.
Speaker 2:To provide and do this the family thing.
Speaker 1:Right, and that's what I mean. Whatever it was that got there, it wasn't playing ping pong in college, that definitely didn't get me there. It doesn't help a lot. Yeah, that did not get me there. I mean Forrest Gump. Well, I think that was the Harman thing, though.
Speaker 3:It doesn't work that way though.
Speaker 2:I think it was his mom. She did work real hard to get him ahead in life.
Speaker 1:Your mama sure do care about your education.
Speaker 2:You got to pat the sweater away when you say it From his chest.
Speaker 1:From his chest.
Speaker 2:What dude walks out with a pat on his chest.
Speaker 1:All the way down the stairs and everything it was intense. Pat in his chest All the way down the stairs and everything it was intense. What?
Speaker 2:were they doing Breathing exercises, I think so Building rocking chairs?
Speaker 1:Did you fall into the medical field, Monroe?
Speaker 3:I did. I always knew it would be something medical. I just knew it wasn't going to be nursing, it just happened to be respiratory.
Speaker 1:Male nurses get the shit into the stick.
Speaker 3:You got to do so much. Male respiratory is similar.
Speaker 2:I'm sure I didn't want to walk but, yeah, what led you into the medical direction, though?
Speaker 3:Just everything in my life with the transplants and everything.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean you were just kind of. I mean you do have a personal connection.
Speaker 1:Transparent transplant Trans Transparent, trans, trans Trans.
Speaker 2:I'm transphobic.
Speaker 1:I can't talk about this?
Speaker 2:Oh, it's Just all transes.
Speaker 1:It's just asparagus. Trans plants Trans. Yeah, it's asparagus. It thinks it's broccoli.
Speaker 2:Yeah, what.
Speaker 1:I don't know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 2:Let's go Trans plant, oh man.
Speaker 1:Let's go.
Speaker 2:Jesus Christ. I hope we get cancelled I already said, I'm transphobic.
Speaker 1:Everybody listens to this podcast. Votes for Trump.
Speaker 2:I don't believe that at all.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:I don't care, vote for whoever you want.
Speaker 1:I don't.
Speaker 2:Don't vote for a politician.
Speaker 1:I don't think we're allowed to tell you who to vote for on a podcast. Wait, no.
Speaker 2:I can tell you this Don't vote for any of them.
Speaker 1:They hate you they all hate you. Actually, they don't hate you. They don't know you exist. They don't care about you. They don't care about you. It's the whole hating you means they know you exist. They don't care about you legitimately behind them in the stands. Hey, guess what? No one with money cares about you because they have money and the whole point of being alive, evidently, is to have money.
Speaker 2:And taxation is theft.
Speaker 1:Taxation is theft. If this podcast, if we pivoted at all this show and if we took a hard turn and pivoted anything, it'd be a fucking taxation is theft show.
Speaker 2:I would love to get behind an anti-government show. Let's do that.
Speaker 1:Let's get some fucking accountants on. Why are you?
Speaker 2:asking me to get accountants.
Speaker 1:I'm just saying it Like you don't fucking let me in. Just don't let me in with the. I'm not voting for Trump. It's out of hand. I got to go, but do you know an accountant?
Speaker 2:though I got a couple. Okay, yeah, my mom's an accountant A synagogue.
Speaker 1:I could have my mom on, but I feel like that would.
Speaker 2:I don't think she would belong here. I don't think she would do great.
Speaker 1:I think it would be like when Rick Flair was on Kill Tony. That's what I think it'd be like. Yeah, I think it would be like that. I think she would be like I'm really not here for this boy. I did not mean to do this. You guys are just mean to each other. They're like did you watch this?
Speaker 2:We're very unpleasant people. We should have been here in the first place. We're really mean to each other.
Speaker 1:It's fine, fine, but we would kill you if you fuck with any of us.
Speaker 3:yeah, absolutely, that's so funny, clay's like that too, with him and his buddies, we're like that.
Speaker 1:It's just dudes. Yes, we beat the shit out of each other. Don't fuck with them.
Speaker 2:That's dudes yeah, that's funny. In the army it's the whole. I'm gonna go see my buddy. He's the greatest dude I've ever known. I love him so much. Oh, is he pretty solid dude? No, he's a piece of shit. I wouldn't trust him with my family.
Speaker 1:He's a garbage human being my best friend in the world, yeah and you know you're like.
Speaker 2:You know I love him so much. He's my favorite person. I'd do anything for me. He would do anything for me tokeisha, specifically not to date him.
Speaker 1:Yeah it's like yeah, that's a mistake absolutely.
Speaker 2:You should absolutely avoid it.
Speaker 1:He's a piece of shit.
Speaker 2:I mean, those are the best friends you have, I love him yeah. You love them despite them being pieces of shit, because, I mean, generally speaking, we're all pieces of shit.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's fine, we all know it, munro, except Munro.
Speaker 2:He does the Lord's work.
Speaker 1:Well, just giving people breathing treatments.
Speaker 2:He works in a hospital. That's enough. I've seen the superhero sides.
Speaker 1:He just gives people with pneumonia breathing treatments all night. You're right.
Speaker 2:No witty, nope, nope, just true, that's the job yo we do.
Speaker 1:That's why he likes night shift. He just gives in treatments.
Speaker 2:I mean that really is probably the best way to go.
Speaker 1:How many people decline them A lot.
Speaker 2:Not as much as you think. Why would somebody decline it, because it's three in the morning, they just want to sleep.
Speaker 1:But they've got to sign off on it and shit. Too right. So it's more work to just decline it than it is to just fucking take it, and also since too right, yeah, so it's like more work to just decline it than it is to just fucking take it and also it's an oxygen high.
Speaker 1:Just take it. Yeah, you feel really good. Just take it. You're gonna sleep like a baby once you. Once you take it, then you can have oxygen the rest of your life. If you just take oxygen all the time, right by now true, is that true? Yeah, you can get like, because your lungs get used to having like that pure oxygen.
Speaker 2:Oh, because it's pure yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, pumped in, and then you just can't live without it. Your lungs are like, yeah, shit hits. Good, that sucks.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're ruining people's lives, man.
Speaker 1:Yes yes, I am, keisha did fall into teaching.
Speaker 3:Even though I'm not really teaching right now.
Speaker 1:Well, yeah, but it's teaching adjacent.
Speaker 3:Well, it's what I originally got my bachelor's degree in then, what I couldn't do anymore and what I had to go into, that's yours.
Speaker 1:I told you not to do that you look like you're having no fun whatsoever. She never has fun.
Speaker 2:I've seen her have fun.
Speaker 1:I'm just kidding, she always has fun.
Speaker 2:You took the fun. I've seen her have fun, I'm just kidding, she always has fun.
Speaker 3:You took the fun. I don't know what to do.
Speaker 1:She just sits there like this To be fair, we were doing a wrestling podcast for a while and I could have moved it.
Speaker 3:You haven't done one tonight.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry that I didn't move the board. Do you want me to pause the podcast and move the board Please? No, I'm kidding, we're 45 minutes in. I think we're like oh man, so you were still talking about your fall in your job. I was like where are we at, bro? I was like where are we at Hold?
Speaker 3:on. Started in clerical work in high school. I knew I wanted to do somewhat of that. But healthcare because I wanted to make a difference Got an associate's in one degree.
Speaker 1:Awesome people and shit.
Speaker 3:Got a bachelor's in a different field or same field just different.
Speaker 2:Well, they're both healthcare but one was in Just different specializations.
Speaker 3:Yeah. So I got a bachelor's in healthcare management. Couldn't find a job, took my college, off my ass. Got a job, Paid minimum wage, whatever. Couldn't live off that, so not, and not it not meet the kid's schedule. So I went into subbing then, which much later teaching, yada, yada, yada. So now the job I have is a blend of both. I'm still in the school system but I'm still on the paperwork side and the process and an office side of that stuff. So it's kind of both.
Speaker 2:So it's like the intention to continue on your path. Are you all going to stay in the same field? Where do you move up from here? Like doing respiratory, like is there a way to move?
Speaker 3:they are, but I just would rather not yeah too much.
Speaker 2:It's too much trouble to actually do is it yeah? Like, as you get it like it, I guess it would be more of an administrative yeah thing, yeah paperwork, shit, yep, it's all yeah, yeah just not worth it. No, pay raise or anything Can you do other certifications to get more pay. You can. You can go to perfusion in school.
Speaker 1:That increases your pay and everything.
Speaker 2:You can stay in the same position, though.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I was looking for a way out, not up. We're not about that.
Speaker 3:But in my current position. I make the first year of my starting salary exceeds what I would have been making as a teacher 15 years in.
Speaker 2:Really Nice. That's not good for teachers. No, I have a master's. The state of Kentucky. That's not good for teachers. No.
Speaker 3:No.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 3:I have a master's in teaching.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And the position. I have only required a bachelor's. Right and it didn't have to be in anything particular.
Speaker 2:Well, we're sufferers of the generation of you've got to go to college, you've got to get a degree. It's the only way you'll be, it's all about.
Speaker 1:They just want you to pay tax on them fucking student loans, and that's just theft, man.
Speaker 2:Commonwealth Stadium wasn't going to upgrade itself. I'm going to get all anti-government again. Yeah, let's go. I can't do it. I can't do it. I need that money.
Speaker 1:I took a picture of the American flag today and they had it upside down for a few seconds and I was like you should leave it like that.
Speaker 3:It's kind of funny yeah I was like it's kind of fucking you guys think that picture's hard.
Speaker 1:It's gonna be way harder if it fights upside down. I promise, like it's good, you guys are gonna. You want to pop off, you're gonna go viral. Yes, all the wrong reasons, but no bad. No publicity is bad publicity correct yeah, I mean. Well, I don't know. Man diddy's downloads are way fucking up.
Speaker 2:Dude, his downloads are way up I, I can separate the artist from the music.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'll fucking you know, 2,000 yards man. Oj Simpson, Of course he's an innocent man.
Speaker 2:It's legally.
Speaker 1:Legally he is, it's all that matters.
Speaker 2:I agree.
Speaker 1:What is this podcast? What is this? Can we just fucking hang hang out? Just talk about bullshit? We're talking about OJ Simpson all over the place. This is like separating the art from the artist. Like I love, michael Jackson, fuck.
Speaker 2:P Diddy, I mean no, I'd rather not. Oh no, I mean, that was always on the table. There's not enough lotion.
Speaker 1:it seemed it was on the table, but you weren't. Ayo, ay, not enough lotion. It was on the table, but you weren't. Hey-oh, hey-oh, do we got a button or something?
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Oh, no Damn, it's just proof.
Speaker 2:No, got there that just proves Kasia should be on this. Yeah, she's so salty right now I suck with it.
Speaker 1:She knew immediately what was going on the one that taught you how to use it, and I can't press the buttons. Never can find the button you know it's a common problem.
Speaker 2:Pardon, it's a common problem, oh yeah it is.
Speaker 1:It hurt my feelings. So at work we stopped paying out for COVID vacations.
Speaker 2:You were still doing that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so this is the death to COVID-cations. There's no more of those.
Speaker 2:How did you still have that going on?
Speaker 1:I think it was still going on like three months ago. I think it ended like three months ago, but it was still going on.
Speaker 2:People still have COVID.
Speaker 1:I think everybody has COVID. I think that's the trick with it People just have COVID.
Speaker 2:Do you remember when it was?
Speaker 1:it's just the people just have covet, do you remember?
Speaker 2:what it was then the world. We just have covet now, and now everybody's just now different yeah people
Speaker 2:just have it positive at school and they didn't send him home because they give him a high five and ask him to stay away from people just said no, unless you have a fever, you're not contagious. You're fine, you can stay I'm remember it, killing everyone in the world. Yeah, I'm pretty clear on that memory no, multiple people I mean I saw jimmy camel made a video and everything like we all died I'm pretty sure jimmy camel made a video.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm pretty.
Speaker 2:I saw like they sang a rainbow song or something pretty lost.
Speaker 1:I got lost in the like jimmy camel's, j Jimmy Kimmel's control over the American population.
Speaker 2:He did a thing.
Speaker 1:Do you remember Jimmy Kimmel just celebrated titties and beer all the time, and now he's fucking like the most piece of shit pussy ever Full split. They went Adam Carolla's like fuck bitches, get money. Like I love titties steal.
Speaker 2:I'm old enough to remember the trampolines.
Speaker 1:Oh, the tramp. That's what people every time I see. I can't even talk about this, because every time I see Jimmy Kimmel, I'm like bro, why don't he start every show with Ziggy Zoggy, ziggy Zoggy, oi, oi, oi, like, what is he doing? He don't ever say that he's better than that. Now there was I know he's. I know his statement was like you know he's matured and understand. I was like he was allowed to you fucking, I'm gonna tell you something. And I'm gonna tell you something, right that just something we got here.
Speaker 1:All the listeners that you you to beat his ass in high school because he's a poser, right he's a fucking poser sellout. That's very 2003 to say, but isn't he?
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, and I was the kind of kid that cared about that shit.
Speaker 1:You would have fucking wrapped a metal chain.
Speaker 3:Around your knuckles.
Speaker 2:And fucked him up.
Speaker 1:You and probably some 6 foot 3 gay dude.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we'd just rainbow bash the fuck out of him. I'm telling you dude?
Speaker 1:Where's the live mic?
Speaker 2:Nowhere I love like Letcher County's got this beautiful punk and alt scene and I remember being there in the beginning. Yeah, you know, like we were young.
Speaker 1:They're underrated for that. There's a ton, of Ton of punks and all.
Speaker 2:We used to I mean Weisberg used to when we were in middle school and high school, weisberg banged.
Speaker 1:The segues speak the truth usually and I follow the segues. Okay, and the segue here is talking about downtown Weisberg. Again, it's amazing, right, and I just, you know, I can't help but talk about all the people who are in whitesburg right now filming stuff, and there's a bunch of, there's a bunch of people going viral.
Speaker 2:I'll just say monroe's jacket's yellow it's pretty yellow I would actually call it green it's kind of leaning towards like an electric green yeah, it is I think that 90 of the people in this fucking population are fucking idiots because all they do is go. I read this from somebody's cousin on facebook that said so and so did this what button do I hit right now? It's, that was pretty hard everybody's so fucking stupid because they want to believe whatever the fuck they want to believe it's this one, I think.
Speaker 3:Can I please have the board back? I made Weston move.
Speaker 1:because of that, I had to press the fucking buttons. I made him sit over here. After that I changed the whole studio around because he wouldn't stop pressing the buttons. I've been sitting here for years. At this point, I know how long has this been going on A year. No way it's more than yeah, no, we hit 10 000 downloads in a year, god damn I'm bad at. So it's pretty good and we're getting, and people are listening and you know, and so we're gonna.
Speaker 2:This is where I sit, and you can't make me move I'm I don't think I ask you to move.
Speaker 1:You kind of threatened me I do that a little bit, because I need to, I know, but listen to me just a second. I need to at least assert a little bit, because I need to, I know, but listen to me just a second. I need to at least assert a little bit of dominance, I understand? Yeah, just a teeny tiny.
Speaker 2:I've been sitting like a Muppet this whole show.
Speaker 3:so it's okay, You're goofy as fuck.
Speaker 1:You can probably get me right now, like you, skateboard, left-footed or some shit, that's how you're sitting.
Speaker 2:I was never a skateboarder, thank you.
Speaker 1:I it. That's how you, that's how you're sitting. I was never a skateboarder, thank you. I know you was a pure fruit booter. You fruit boot, left-footed. Yeah, you had this pitch one time about why rollerblading rollerbladers were harder than than skateboarders. Because because you can't ditch, because you can't ditch, rollerbladers can't ditch, can't ditch. And they're like yeah, the board also can't come up and hit you in the face.
Speaker 2:Well, your foot fucking can and it did. Multiple times.
Speaker 1:Don't be so flexible. Just saying Everybody's a little gay. That's all I'm trying to say. There's a bunch of good movies. Don't talk about movies. Don't talk about rollerblade movies without talking about the fucking rollerblade movie.
Speaker 2:Name a better skateboard movie than Airborne Airborne's better than Name any skateboard movie that can compare to Airborne. And there is my argument.
Speaker 1:Name a good rollerblading game. Okay, stop, name one better than Tony Hawk.
Speaker 2:Oh fuck, there's not one. There's not a rollerblading game.
Speaker 1:There is a rollerblading game the one where you're you just gotta sit and fucking pump the triggers or whatever radio. What's that game called Radio something? You know what I'm talking about Everybody's just Radio. Gaga.
Speaker 2:I hope I die soon.
Speaker 1:Shit's miserable.
Speaker 2:Rollerblading is the dumbest of the things because you have to literally work.
Speaker 1:It's stupid, you got to pass that down there for me, Dad.
Speaker 2:But I had a lot of fun doing it.
Speaker 1:Let me tell you what I did to your son. Huh, let me tell you what I did to your son. I can stare without blinking for a surprisingly long amount of time.
Speaker 2:Do you just move your eyes?
Speaker 1:No, I can just dead stare you for like 10 or 15 minutes without looking.
Speaker 2:You don't move your eyes at all. I cannot move at all. Dude, I can't do it right now, because I'm thinking about it. Are you a reptile?
Speaker 1:No, I literally looked at Jude at the game the other night. You can ask him. I looked at him the other night for like five minutes dude and just looked at him. He was like why are you not fucking?
Speaker 2:blinking. Yeah, jude is not going to handle that well. He was like why are you not blinking you?
Speaker 1:know what autistic kids love Eye contact yeah and I live with it. It it's so funny. I force your kids To be so uncomfortable.
Speaker 2:He adores you so fucking much. It's crazy.
Speaker 1:I force Rory too. I force her to be so uncomfortable. She's wild, she's like what are you talking about?
Speaker 3:She is she dropped her phone At that last At the championship game. Yeah, and she's like you dropped your phone. She's like she turned around, she's like I know I was gonna get it and he's like he said something else to her and she's like, uh, huh, okay.
Speaker 2:I don't know what to do, yeah.
Speaker 1:Heather kind of reacts that way when I talk to her. Also, jude's starting to figure it out yeah. Jude has had more experience yeah, he comes back with it. He's starting to figure it out, yeah.
Speaker 2:Jude's starting to grow into it now yeah. Jude's starting to figure out what his place is and like he's getting a lot funnier yeah sometimes it's on purpose yeah, he's grabbing stuff, yeah he's not gonna make it unless he learns to get sarcastic we're doing this I'm always doing this I'm always doing this.
Speaker 1:There it is oh today's episode is brought to you by the shagging Dog 24-hour fine dining restaurant and hotel. Fresh herbs, locally sourced meat and private rooms with hourly rental available. The Shagging Dog is guaranteed to keep you completely satisfied. At the Shagging Dog, don't ask what's in our meat, just ask what's not in you. Mention unpaid lunch for half-off VIP room service. Now back to the show. So which rhino could have been here? He was talking about it, trying to get him back into Getting out and be able to record.
Speaker 2:Are they going to be doing wrestling this year?
Speaker 1:He said he's not going to do it.
Speaker 2:That's a bummer. He was pretty good at it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I said he wants to play basketball. You know, a lot of shit happened.
Speaker 2:I mean, you can do both.
Speaker 1:A lot of shit happened. Oh yeah, it was a mess last year. A mess, yeah.
Speaker 3:That's funny anyway.
Speaker 2:I mean it's going to be. We had one on each.
Speaker 1:That ties right in with me talking to them about when I was telling all the people in the stands about how we're the villains. Stop acting like everybody else is the bad guys. I said when I went to school Neon was the bad guys, but we admitted it. We knew we were. We were dirty the fans were dirty.
Speaker 2:We loved it. Our feel was nasty, our rants were crooked.
Speaker 1:It's what we did. I was like just embrace it. Our field was nasty, Our reps were crooked, it was our name. It's what we did. I was like just embrace it If we're going to fucking do it.
Speaker 2:We were a bunch of druggies out there fighting that's what I'm saying Just fighting people on the field.
Speaker 1:We got some kids who do some dirty shit. I was like you know our fans.
Speaker 2:I'm talking about us, Our kids are not druggies were fucking. We were everybody everybody on the team was fucked out of their mind. We were fucking. Yeah, half of them are dead now. Yeah, we were a great football team. Yeah, you know why they're real good fuck didn't feel no pain, none, none whatsoever.
Speaker 1:Oxys, yeah I didn't feel any pain. We were just fucking shoveled full oxy straight from the coach and we didn't.
Speaker 2:And the day we lost, we just didn't have the balance right distribution yeah, somebody's dealer didn't show up yeah, well, they changed. They changed the formula yeah, we get, we get footballs, we got poles or whatever, yeah shit that was the.
Speaker 1:that was the wildest experience when you get uh, I'm trying to think who it was that was new and joined the baseball team, who hadn't been to neon before, and they joined the baseball team and was like maybe I don't remember because and they were like what the fuck? And I was like oh no, the coach is like super chill with the other dudes.
Speaker 3:Enough to where he just like does drugs and fuck bitches with them.
Speaker 1:Like they snort pills off a 15 year old girl's asses.
Speaker 2:It was a terrible, terrible time. It's awful.
Speaker 1:But he does not like a lady referee or anything. We were on this podcast is if the shoe fits. Uh, this is my original idea. If the shoe fits, yeah, we're just gonna do a podcast called if the shoe fits, I'm still gonna. That's, that's trademarked, um, so you can't use it, you registered it, I registered it.
Speaker 2:Don't steal it, just say it out loud.
Speaker 1:It's registered I declare you can't use it, uh, and we were just gonna call people out on stuff. Oh, my god, let me do it. I know I was like it was like it's really controversial because if you have people in studio going, to call people out on stuff.
Speaker 2:Oh, I like that, let me do it. I know, let me do it.
Speaker 1:I was like it's really controversial because if you have people in studio and you call people out, that's risque.
Speaker 2:You. If you're going to do this, you're going to need me on staff.
Speaker 1:Seriously, yeah, but you, I know, I know, but you have to have people. You have to have people. You have to be established enough that people know you exist, but not established enough that people know what you do. Yeah, Does that make sense? Like you have to be able to call people up just like Impractical Jokers right in the middle.
Speaker 2:See Impractical Jokers season four. So I just went on a big Jokers dive. Yeah, I listen to a lot of podcasts, you know.
Speaker 1:And when they weren't known, it was way better, right.
Speaker 2:Better ones Like good ones.
Speaker 1:Fuck you.
Speaker 2:I've seen the quality of your guests.
Speaker 1:Eat my unpaid dick.
Speaker 2:I've seen the quality of your guests. It's not great.
Speaker 1:Thank you very much. We had Tyler Payne on and he is an incredible director and celebrity Bullshit.
Speaker 2:So you all need to up the up the quality, I locked your account you can't stop paying for it that's fine, heather doesn't know yeah it's fine, it's from my porn account anyway. It's. It's just off my like I get an allowance.
Speaker 1:It's from my account. I have uh, no, let's, I'm just gonna stop Hold up Record scratch. Hey, get me to do a that's Hold on.
Speaker 3:How ironic. Then I took her job.
Speaker 1:A few ironic things about me. I now have a paid lunch, really, which is very ironic, and I took Keisha's job.
Speaker 2:Be a great place, she could still do that. You should have just left it where it was.
Speaker 1:That was awesome. Alright, you win. I'll give you the board back, since you did the sound. Anyway, we took a brief break for our sponsor. Welcome back in to you guys.
Speaker 2:We're having good moments tonight.
Speaker 1:You guys are having great moments. You guys act like we couldn't get a sponsor at all. All right, do you think there's a big Mountain Dew bottle in the middle of the screen? Here You're on Candid Camera. Remember that show?
Speaker 2:That was wonderful. That was the TGIF era. I think it was Peak of television.
Speaker 1:So my buddy Wes that we do show in color with started work with me at my job and doing something different but there and like he's like the third person I've recruited for for my job over there would you get money for that, which is so out of character for me. They work six months. I get some cash, yeah.
Speaker 2:You shouldn't say that on this podcast.
Speaker 3:What.
Speaker 2:That you're recruiting people for a job. No, they won't. When you have a podcast called.
Speaker 3:That is literally based on quitting your job. He wants to set them up for success. He wants to get them a job so they can quit.
Speaker 2:What I like to say.
Speaker 1:You're on the viewer base or listener base.
Speaker 2:What I like for everybody to think is you know, give them a job to want to quit.
Speaker 1:I have quit your job. Tattooed on my wrist Right. But quit your job is more man. I wish we had some music, music to play like in the background, like some. Really, I'm gonna put some music in here, post edit I'm gonna or post post recording, I'm gonna put some really sad music right here. Let me tell you what's happening.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because I'm gonna say, uh, that, uh that, I don't know. I lost my train of thought, but that's okay, it's not really me, it's not my fault. Or are we talking about us? Nobody knows, do they? Do you guys have any idea what we're talking about? No, nobody here knows. This is this.
Speaker 3:Oh man Music. That's all I know. What is this?
Speaker 1:I don't know. Wait, no, this is not the end.
Speaker 2:This is not the end and we're back.
Speaker 1:Come on, monroe, saving the whole damn show. She wanted an applause button. Look, I did better. Got it on the first try. Alright, to be fair, I did teach her. Got it on the first try. Alright, to be fair, I did teach her how to use the fucking board. Alright, she's done it like four times.
Speaker 3:Because I knew what.
Speaker 1:I was doing hey um Sounds good. Sounds just like her. We had to delete this whole Fucking episode. Monroe, you're supposed to keep us on track. He doesn't have a booth, everybody's gone. What the fuck?
Speaker 2:Did we?
Speaker 1:already welcome back in. Did we already do that? Yeah, we did.
Speaker 2:Oh, my God.
Speaker 1:Do it again. You're going to need to.
Speaker 2:This edit's going to fucking suck You're going to spend so long on this one, oh.
Speaker 1:God, do I do it again? Did we already do it? We didn't do anything, though. We didn't just do it again, I feel like we talked about substantial things.
Speaker 2:I guarantee we did not, you're right.
Speaker 1:Welcome back from our break that we took in the middle of the shift.
Speaker 3:After the break we had to take a break After the break. Don to take a break After the break.
Speaker 1:Don't get us started again. Alright, fake, launch Bullshit. We lost it. Everybody here lost it. Rhino's not here to control. There's no manager here at all. There's no manager. He quit. Is Monroe talking? Oh no, he's chewing on something. I was like what is happening?
Speaker 2:I know his mic's not off, but I can't hear him at all.
Speaker 1:He just shakes his head. He didn't respond out loud to his Monroe talking Shakes his head no, he didn't respond out loud to his Monroe talking Shakes his head no, that's fantastic. Get the man a booth. Yeah, we're going to build a booth. It's going to be outside, though, outside this window.
Speaker 2:Both outside this window it's going to be, awesome Planter shelves.
Speaker 3:He's just on a camp chair. It's a really high stool, glass box. Get him a tree stand. Can't get his ears shot off.
Speaker 1:Because he's a president. You know what I mean. I can't hold it together if you laugh. No man God. It's the most unproductive episode I've ever had.
Speaker 2:I've done worse.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we've had worse episodes. Remember when Eric was here.
Speaker 3:Unproductive lunch.
Speaker 1:Do you want to come? What? Say it again.
Speaker 3:Unproductive lunch instead of unpaid lunch.
Speaker 1:All my lunch is unproductive. I don't poop on lunch. She said Unproductive lunch instead of unpaid lunch. Oh, all my lunches are unproductive. I don't poop on lunch though. Do you poop on lunch? Can't poop on lunch. You don't get paid for that. I poop whenever I want. I guess I do you poop in your yard.
Speaker 2:I pee in my yard all the time.
Speaker 1:I pee in my yard all the time.
Speaker 2:Nothing makes you feel like a man, like pe underwear most of the time. That's true. I'm outside my house all the time and there's a state highway that goes right in front of it, people in Mike. Robertson, just learn to accept that I'm in my underwear all the time.
Speaker 1:They're all just sitting on their porch waiting on fast cars to go by, so they can call the cops and complain on them.
Speaker 3:Do people?
Speaker 2:do that.
Speaker 1:All the old people up there do that.
Speaker 2:I'm an old people.
Speaker 1:You're an old person.
Speaker 2:I don't think old people up there, do that.
Speaker 1:I'm an old people, you're an old person, I am.
Speaker 2:You're not sitting on the porch though You're behind your house, I'm behind my house Fighting with ducks and shit, just fighting sheep. Yeah, just climbing up a mountainside and fighting sheep. Gotta have a hobby.
Speaker 1:Some people paint Some people paint and manning, painting, manning. It's a commercial. Sorry, we're sponsored by Peyton.
Speaker 3:Manning.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we're sponsored by Allstate. I actually don't even know what that commercial's for, so whatever.
Speaker 3:Sure.
Speaker 2:The Manning brothers are the greatest thing to happen to sports entertainment in the history of sports.
Speaker 1:I can't believe how great they are. It's amazing how funny Eli is.
Speaker 2:They are both hilarious and they are ten times funnier together If we could get them and Pat McAfee to have a show together.
Speaker 1:Protect him at all costs.
Speaker 2:Forever True.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he's great. He's the best thing that ever happened to ESPN. Espn was going to go under if they didn't have him.
Speaker 2:You know what the best thing about him is what you know, what it is.
Speaker 1:He's a kicker. Yeah, he is. Yeah, yeah, yeah, good one.
Speaker 2:There's no person.
Speaker 1:He's awesome. I feel like we'd have a good time. He's one of those dudes like there's a couple people I want to hang out with that I would like to just call and my pitch would be dude, we'd have such a good time. And that's my only pitch because, like Post Malone, I think we'd have a fucking fantastic time.
Speaker 2:Post Malone would get along with everyone.
Speaker 1:We'd have a fantastic time. Any level, I literally play the same type of magic that he plays consistently.
Speaker 2:Post Malone could literally get along with anyone.
Speaker 1:I could teach him things about magic. You know what I mean. It would be like oh, that'd be fucking cool, We'd have a great time. I think I'd have a great time. I mean, I think Post Malone would be Okay, so that's your celebrity wish hangout. Yeah, I think you'd be really cool. It seems super cheesy, but who's yours? I have no idea. None Blanks, he don't want to hang out with nobody, nobody.
Speaker 2:He just wants to go home and get a nap. That's true.
Speaker 1:He just wants to sleep. He works night shift. He doesn't know anything.
Speaker 2:Who's the sleepiest celebrity you can name?
Speaker 3:You can't think of it.
Speaker 1:Hey, what button do you want me to press? Snoop, that's the wrong one.
Speaker 2:P-smoke or post-smoke Snoop.
Speaker 1:There it is.
Speaker 2:Great timing Pre Pre Pre Okay.
Speaker 1:What do you mean?
Speaker 2:He doesn't smoke anymore. Yeah, he does, he says he doesn't.
Speaker 1:No, he don't. He said that before and now he says he doesn't. Is he back on it now?
Speaker 2:Yeah, he carried a huge blunt in the Olympics. That was a Okay. No, he didn't.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:No, that was a while ago. That was a long time ago. Is that why he's productive? It might be.
Speaker 1:Explain why this pothead's productive it was just him. I was like is he productive? I know he's on a lot of shit, but it's really just flying places and sitting in chairs. I'm productive.
Speaker 2:I made four kids and I'm a pothead. He's the United States mascot.
Speaker 3:Yeah, he is the.
Speaker 2:US mascot it's truly the most entertaining thing about the.
Speaker 1:US Olympics. Remember when he said fuck the police all the time.
Speaker 2:I remember when he was a gangster it was neat and I was a scrawny white kid from suburban eastern Kentucky. Yeah, and being like fuck yeah, Snoop Dogg, I totally get it.
Speaker 1:I love Snoop.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I totally get your culture bro, I'm right there, I'm with you my brother, mike, has the whitest family.
Speaker 1:They are so white.
Speaker 2:If you look up suburban white America, Bro, they fucking love fajitas.
Speaker 1:How much do your family love? Fajitas, yeah, but it's just like chickens, bell peppers and cheese no spice. Yeah, chicken, well, polo con queso right. Actually, you know what? My family fucks with some food though yeah, I know they do Because of vacation. I'm just kidding, that's just a cliche, because generally At home we are casserole kings. Boy, I love some casserole.
Speaker 2:That's the kind of white we are. We are the casserole.
Speaker 1:I ain't had a good chicken casserole in a while. Maybe I'll make one soon.
Speaker 2:Green bean casserole is where it's at.
Speaker 1:I like green bean casserole. Chicken casserole is just like I make the cheapest can of cream of chicken and shredded chicken and can of veg all.
Speaker 2:It tastes like nothing. That's what you're supposed to do. Yeah, it's great Veg, all the mixed vegetables.
Speaker 1:Everything processed is possible Is veg.
Speaker 2:The mixed vegetables. Everything processed is possible. Is Veg-All just like a neon.
Speaker 1:IGA thing. No, it's a worldwide thing, is it?
Speaker 2:a national brand.
Speaker 1:Yeah, neon IGA sells more than anybody else on Earth. Yeah, we fucks with that. Well, they don't actually carry any other vegetables. You can buy Veg-All or old asparagus.
Speaker 2:We're Dragon Fruit and we buy it all.
Speaker 1:That's where it goes Every time I'm looking for dragon fruit people. We're talking about a local grocery store that is like the most backwoods grocery store. They have like 12 things, the whole store, everything but the meat is expensive, the meat's cheap and everything else is outrageous they, they know their fucking market and they target their meat boy they do it. It's the. The little mexican section is smaller than any grocery store ever. It is. I can't make that joke Say it with your chest, bro.
Speaker 2:I'm not in the army anymore.
Speaker 1:I can't get away with it. This is if the shoe fits.
Speaker 2:Brought to you by a toe. But their steaks are the thinnest cut things.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they're not real.
Speaker 2:You have to cook them super low. You just, you can't cook them yeah, you're right, so I don't just can complain about that fillet in the vacuum seal bag, like you can get a fillet for, like either.
Speaker 1:Butcher smokes a lot of weed, so well, good, I mean you hope you can. He will help you.
Speaker 2:You'd think you'd be able to do it a little thicker. Roll that shit.
Speaker 1:Roll it up and then cut it. I don't know, I don't think it's kosher?
Speaker 2:I don't think that. Well no, I live more closer than kosher, that's kosher, I did that term. I go the best that I can.
Speaker 1:You're just in it for the jokes anyway.
Speaker 2:I go pretty hard on it.
Speaker 1:I know I do love the jokes, the jokes.
Speaker 2:I know I hear the dentist jokes a lot. It's hard to be a convert and not get accused of being the dentist.
Speaker 1:You were going to be a dentist.
Speaker 2:I was going to be a dentist. Yeah, thank God that didn't work out, because this would be the worst, because what would you have done if you didn't go to the military? I would have been a dentist. I was on track, I mean, I was literally on track to get into, I mean when I left school, yeah, and you would have done fine. You'd have been a great dentist actually I was a great student yeah you would have probably dominated neon neon, you'd been like the only I was gonna take the practice over.
Speaker 1:I mean I was yeah, I was on track for all that, and then I decided to go. You fucked it up, mike yeah, michael decided to fight for his country, not a single dentist cavities, gets to jump out of an airplane and shoot people with a machine gun. So if you have a lot of money and you go to third world countries, I got to go to those countries for free, though. Yeah, they paid me to do that. You did the same thing a dentist would have done. You just got paid.
Speaker 2:The thing is, though, like from the time I was a little kid. That's what I wanted to do was be a dentist, no be a soldier. And being a dentist was kind of like the family thing, like somebody to take over the office there, and I just really wasn't.
Speaker 1:Everything's real there, yeah. It was like a planned marriage.
Speaker 2:I was on that track. I was a nerd. I still am a nerd, but I was like a good student and structured and reasonable, but my whole life I wanted to be a soldier.
Speaker 1:How long would it take for you to be a dentist? You just got to go to dentistry school. You probably got everything else.
Speaker 2:I'd have to do a few more years of school probably, and I don't know what it takes to get into if you're 16, you become a dentist I would not, I'm just saying to be entertaining do you know what I have to do for?
Speaker 1:a little. Your dentist named toe would be really weird. I don't want that. Yeah, that's weird, I just don't get it no, podiatrist, I should be a podiatrist. He kicks you in the fucking tooth.
Speaker 2:I don't know what you're going to say, so I get that shit out.
Speaker 1:Hold still.
Speaker 2:They lay down on like a golf tee kind of situation, I come in and just kick it the tooth.
Speaker 3:Four.
Speaker 1:Funeral has the killers bro're deadly. Every shot just makes every one of them nothing but net. Every fucking shot, um one word so perfect, uh, uh, you know was that what like?
Speaker 2:what was your dream job growing up?
Speaker 1:oh well, that's good.
Speaker 2:We revisited that too um, I mean, we talked about like did you see yourself here, but what is your? Oh, did you talk about in a different episode.
Speaker 1:No, it was a different, it was. I mean, I was gonna wrestle man, like we went, like we were, I was gonna go to wrestling. How?
Speaker 2:wrestling school. How cool Do you remember, andrew?
Speaker 1:Yeah, that grew up with us.
Speaker 2:How cool is it that he continues to chase that dream.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I talked to him a little bit. Yeah, fiji wild man.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he lives. You know, I see him all the time. He was one of the reasons I tried to learn sign language in the video game, and that's the reason Lucy and I do it now. He's cool.
Speaker 1:He's a good wrestler.
Speaker 2:He is man. He's very entertaining. I've seen him wrestle a couple of times. He's very entertaining. His wife does it too. Yeah, it's pretty cool yeah.
Speaker 1:I talked to him a decent amount about it. Yeah, that's probably what I would have done, but I don't even know. Like I said, getting an IT was like. I didn't really do that sense because I was that that age where you set up all your family's routers and, like you, set up all their computers and shit and they have no idea you have to you were the land party guy for the sleepovers completely explain what the internet is yeah, like it didn't exist, back what?
Speaker 1:is it? It's just in the air, will not connect to a wall and yeah, and also you had to figure out how to get rid of viruses after a long wire god bless it.
Speaker 2:We all know how we got them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what music and it wasn't lion king snow hose downloading. Just wanted to watch lion king mom wait 14 hours for one set of titties, yeah man, it was better than Spice Channel. It's desensitized now. Now we're just like ah titties, there's boobs. You see boobs everywhere. Now there's everyone. It's not the same.
Speaker 2:I mean, I still get just as excited, I'm happy every time it is the same.
Speaker 1:I'm happy. Every time it is the same. You're right, but porn's banned in Kentucky now.
Speaker 2:I saw that when I tried to go on Pornhub.
Speaker 1:Yep.
Speaker 2:Get that bitch talking to you.
Speaker 1:On Pornhub, that bitch talking to you. You're like what are you talking about?
Speaker 2:I went on and I was like this isn't what I came here for, but I can make it work. Watch this.
Speaker 1:She's kind of pretty.
Speaker 2:Third, or she's kind of pretty and I only have five minutes and you can really start to feel the words.
Speaker 1:She's kind of pretty. I can't wait to the site because everybody tries to find her, because if she works for the company they're like she definitely got videos on there. This is the number one search on Pornhub. Is that bitch from the band video? Who said no porn? Yeah, who said no porn? That's the Google.
Speaker 2:Who said no porn? Yeah, who said no porn? That's the google. Who said no porn? Porn hub, it's on google. You can find her on x hamster or something.
Speaker 1:She's on xnxxcom. These are. You know why this isn't fake news? Because we named real websites.
Speaker 2:Those are true. I just know what comes up on the top fours it's fine.
Speaker 1:You can just click on the videos tab on Google usually, really, yeah, like they come up on the.
Speaker 2:I don't do the same. Well then, I need to stop direct typing in.
Speaker 1:Yeah, just do it on the video tab I got a.
Speaker 2:VPN, it doesn't matter.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, if you use a VPN, but you can't usually cast with a VPN to your TV, because the only reason that grown men have 85-inch TVs is to cast porn onto.
Speaker 2:I can't argue with you.
Speaker 1:That's not something people should share with their spouse.
Speaker 2:I can delete this from the internet, if you'd like me to. My wife works from home, so I feel like at some point it would get weird.
Speaker 1:Can you stop watching that the? Jehovah's Witnesses are here Get them to cut the grass.
Speaker 2:I fucking knew that you know he asked them to cut the grass. I'll fucking do that. You know you ask them to cut the grass.
Speaker 1:It's part of their ministry. Wait, they have to do this shit. You ask them to.
Speaker 2:How do they feel about us?
Speaker 1:Who's us? Probably the same way they feel about everybody else that you're going to burn in, whatever their hell is.
Speaker 2:But they're so polite?
Speaker 1:They're really polite until you ask them about death.
Speaker 2:They get. Well, listen. I've heard the hiccup preachers talk about death too.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So it's not like the Sutherland Baptists are any more innocent.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't know. All I know is that if you ask them to do something, they have to do it. Anything, yeah, as long as they talk to you about I mean, within reason, I'm sure, but I'm not sure. If they'd like kill your neighbor, can we say kill I said suicide like nine times last time.
Speaker 2:Oh, you can say suicide.
Speaker 1:We're going to be talking about rock stars. You want to say suicide now we're going to be talking about. The one direction you can go is down.
Speaker 3:All right, one direction you can go is down, alright.
Speaker 2:That was well done.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that was too much, that was well crafted.
Speaker 2:It was like the whole build up was for that I have been working on that a while.
Speaker 1:That was good.
Speaker 2:Were you workshopping a bit.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that was Earlier. I was in here by myself telling that joke. I got a fucking in this episode. I can't deal with you all anymore, honestly.
Speaker 2:We're fine. Give us something important to talk about. No, they didn't tell us their dream jobs.
Speaker 3:Oh.
Speaker 1:Mine don't have one.
Speaker 2:You gotta give us something. When you were nine, what did you want to be?
Speaker 3:Alive, okay, fuck off. I guess something in the medical field.
Speaker 2:It was even that early, a fucking respiratory therapist.
Speaker 1:You don't listen to this motherfucker. He's a good dude better than you. He knew what he wanted to do and he fucking did it, alright.
Speaker 2:Everybody's a better person than me.
Speaker 1:That's not true. That's a lowball, not.
Speaker 2:Hitler. He doesn't exist anymore.
Speaker 1:You don't know that you can't compare him to people anymore. His head does Futurama, that's true.
Speaker 2:I'm better than Richard Nixon.
Speaker 1:Are you asking or telling me?
Speaker 2:Yes, yes.
Speaker 1:Just send dick pics to my friends all the time and I just send him. I just send a picture of Richard Nixon all the time it's posted. It's tricky. Just go into people, you'll see a picture of Richard Nixon all the time. It's posted. It's tricky. I just go into people, you'll see a big, tricky dick. It's like a pow. Nixon, I'm not a cock, it's just this. Oh God, I'm not a cock.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you just pulled out.
Speaker 1:Good, I kept that one Made that up on the spot. I am so proud of you. Right now, write that down. I guess it's on tape, so I'll have to write it down. That's unbelievable. What was your dream job? Five-year-old me, but Please say respiratory therapist, no Just take his whole thing.
Speaker 3:I called it a baby doctor. I wanted to be an OB, nurse or doctor of some sort.
Speaker 2:Teenage me marine biologist. That's a pretty cool job.
Speaker 1:That's pretty cool.
Speaker 3:Are you close to that Fell in love with dolphins and sea life and sea creatures, and that's what I wanted to do Everybody love a good blowhole.
Speaker 1:I can't turn it off, man.
Speaker 2:Who played with the blowhole?
Speaker 1:available.
Speaker 2:Oh, I don't think dolphins are real. They're not birds man.
Speaker 1:That statement out of context. This just in Michael Adams says Obviously dolphins.
Speaker 2:Dolphins are not birds, dolphins are real. They don't need any kind of waterborne surveillance system. They've got waterborne birds that they can surveil us with. They don't need dolphins.
Speaker 1:So they're really smart. Do you think they would enjoy things that we enjoy if we gave them things?
Speaker 2:I don't know where we stand on that.
Speaker 1:Like a dolphin. Looks like he needs lemonade sometimes. Does that make sense? It does actually yeah, sometimes a dolphin just needs some lemonade. I thought like I'd get him one of those tubs of lemonade, but here's the problem dolphins enjoy rape I love lemonade like, really enjoy oh yeah so do we so do people in uh to tire most places in the world.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we're very fortunate to live in America. It is we're very fortunate People don't know, a lot less rape than you would. A lot less dead people on the street. Yeah, it's a pretty good place.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So I mean I'm not hitching my apple wagon to any dolphins, because they're rapists.
Speaker 1:Hold up? What kind of apples?
Speaker 2:Fiji.
Speaker 1:That answer like I don't know where you got to go at. I like Fiji apples. You got a wagon full of them.
Speaker 2:Well, I mean, if I was pulling a wagon, it would probably be a mixed apple cart.
Speaker 1:What's your favorite kind of pie? Don't, oh God. Pie in general is my favorite of the desserts?
Speaker 2:It would probably be a mixed apple cart. What's your favorite kind of pie? Don't Pie in general is my favorite of the desserts. I'm going to say it's boring, but apple. But then I go into like I like a Boston cream pie or a key? Yeah, you would, of course I do. I like a Boston cream pie? Yeah, you would, of course I do. But you know, any of the meringue-ish Pies are also big hits with me.
Speaker 1:Pumpkin pie is good too. You like the little torch, don't?
Speaker 2:you, I do. I love pecan pie. I like pecan pie too. I could eat a whole pecan pie right now If you put any pie in front of me, I'm going to be really happy about it. Any pie this podcast really is all over the place. It's wild. You, if you put any pie in front of me, I'm going to be really happy about it.
Speaker 1:Any pie. This podcast really is all over the place. It's wild. Do you want to take the shot?
Speaker 2:What Winter Olympics?
Speaker 1:sport. Would you want to play?
Speaker 2:Did he get one?
Speaker 1:Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:Yes, I do.
Speaker 1:Oh, we're doing this one next Olympic sport.
Speaker 3:Volleyball.
Speaker 2:Winter.
Speaker 3:How winter.
Speaker 2:Shooting. Hold on. Shooting is not a thing. The skiing and shooting, oh okay, what's that called? I?
Speaker 1:don't know, cross-country shooting Some shit.
Speaker 2:Cross-country ski shooting. When I wrote these it was winter. We could probably have.
Speaker 1:You want to evolve to summer? We can do. I don't want to evolve to summer. Summer is too Summer. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Summer Olympics are lame as shit.
Speaker 1:Okay, so really Not skating for me.
Speaker 2:You would want to do.
Speaker 1:Want to do or could do. Well, that's a different one, we've got that one.
Speaker 2:That's a different card.
Speaker 1:Oh okay, that's a different card. We're just randomly pulling a card.
Speaker 2:I'll just pull that one, I'll just say that one after this one, what would you?
Speaker 3:want. What would you want to do?
Speaker 1:Snowboarding.
Speaker 3:I would want to snowboard.
Speaker 1:Shumwap, motherfucker. What do you got? So you know what I think would be really fun Is the fucking jump.
Speaker 2:Oh, like the super jump or whatever, the super big fucking jump when they fly with the skis.
Speaker 1:And if you miss it you die. Yeah, the Eddie the Eagle one. Yeah shit.
Speaker 3:yeah, If you don't land it.
Speaker 2:You're dead. Yeah, you die. That shit. Yeah, you're just flying at 90 miles an hour, it's flight yeah. Yeah, it would be cool as fuck.
Speaker 1:You want to pause and take this shot.
Speaker 2:Hold on, my room's going to go. The Loosers is that what it's called?
Speaker 1:The one where you lay down the team Bobsled.
Speaker 2:That's my answer too. We'll be a bobsled team.
Speaker 1:We'll do the two-man. Are you going to do the song? Are you going to do the bobsled?
Speaker 2:One for the money, two for the show. Wait, no, what was?
Speaker 1:it, no, it's the what was the feel?
Speaker 2:the rhythm, feel the rhyme. Get on up, it's bobsled time yeah, that's it that movie rocks. That was so good, god damn that movie was great.
Speaker 1:what God damn that's great. There is a moment what.
Speaker 2:No, okay, I think we've done this with the Special Olympics, but oh, what winter Olympic sport? Do you think that you could Curling Do and compete? Good compete, good answer, great answer and compete in curling I did curling in college.
Speaker 1:It was awesome, just as a club, little fun thing there's a lot of pro football players can go over to curling because it just takes strength to be able to like. There's some strength to be able to do.
Speaker 2:There's no strength involved at all like the sweeping or whatever I'm telling you not jared ellen.
Speaker 1:Want to meddle right it is.
Speaker 2:I mean it's, you don't have to be strong, you know, you just got to be a team player. I mean it's, it's fun. I was never good at it, I just did it when it was an excuse to get drunk and do something at the rink, but it was. I mean it's not very athletic at all, but I mean you just have to have balance.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:That's the big thing, balance.
Speaker 1:Pretty simple concept of a game too. It's just so fucking fun, man. Yeah, it's very cool you can be fucking.
Speaker 2:You can be drunker doing that than bowling.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Jared Allen played for a bunch of years in NFL and then went and done professional curling.
Speaker 2:It's so cool. All right, Monroe.
Speaker 3:Monroe Skate shooting. Skate shooting I don't like shooting.
Speaker 2:Shooting is not good. The skate you have to skate, skate cross country. I was going to say shooting, shooting, shooting this the skate you have to ski.
Speaker 1:Ski cross country.
Speaker 2:What's it?
Speaker 1:called, it's target skiing or some shit. I don't know what it's called. But you ski and then you stop and you shoot targets and then you start skiing again and you have to go shoot more targets.
Speaker 2:I think it seems like the most accessible.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I agree. Yeah, because you don't even see. It's just skiing long distance and not like it's cross-country ski yeah, he said, in case you lost it, oh man, baboon hearts and for dessert, a chilled a monkey brain. My brother quotes so much Indiana Jones. I love it so much. Yeah, but he hurts you because he fucking tries to take your heart out.
Speaker 2:Like from Temple of Doom. I do that to my children all the time. Yeah, he just I call him a motherfucker.
Speaker 1:He walks up and goes and shoves his fingers into your chest.
Speaker 2:Like with the littlest one that I do the tickles, yeah, sure as do. Well, like with the littlest one that I do the tickles, yeah, sure as they get up.
Speaker 1:Like Jude gets bruises, Jude gets full on violence Clay, if we're like in full, like watching wrestling mode. I abuse my son Like he gets slapped in the chest.
Speaker 2:It's so good Jude and I don't watch wrestling together because it would end in violence.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you all would beat each other up.
Speaker 2:We're both very energetic people oh.
Speaker 3:Glad you're here, I'm glad I'm, here. The one I think I could do would be bobsledding. Oh yeah, I think I could do that.
Speaker 2:We need one more, Okay. So here is the question. We have got three bobsledders here. What position in the sled would you take?
Speaker 1:Middle is less responsibility.
Speaker 2:The number three looking dude, the one that just jumps in, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:I would want the first spot.
Speaker 2:I would want to steer too. Yeah, brake seems pretty cool too, though, because you're doing all the pushing. You've got to be the fastest. I feel like for me it's… Everything I know about it comes from cool riding.
Speaker 3:This is like literally any fact we know because of John Candy. John Candy taught me everything. John.
Speaker 1:Candy taught me everything I know about bobsledding. I wish I knew that coach's name. All right, so we've came to the part of the show. Mike, so you still are a patron.
Speaker 3:I am.
Speaker 1:You've been forever, since the beginning of the show. Keisha's happy because I used the fucking buttons correctly. She's super pumped about that. We still got people who stuck with us for a long time, since the beginning Chris Hammons, mike, micah Brandy, but Blair, philip McRae and Corey Moore you guys been with us forever. Thank you, it's awesome. Appreciate you so much. You help us cover everything that we need for the podcast to be able to publish and keep everything going and keep making content, which I keep promising that we're going to make more of, but we're going to, because Mike doesn't have anything else to do.
Speaker 1:I am here all the time Football season's over and he hates basketball.
Speaker 2:I don't enjoy it.
Speaker 1:He does not enjoy basketball, so and he hates basketball. I don't enjoy it. He does not enjoy basketball, so he'll be here after every one of them talking about it Not enjoying basketball.
Speaker 2:This is going to become an anti-basketball podcast.
Speaker 1:We just changed the whole thing. What's your new format? It's anti-basketball. That's really what we're into Anti umpire.
Speaker 3:Anti-basketball.
Speaker 1:It is anti-umpire. It is anti-umpire, that's for sure. Me and ryan ryan's done multiple episodes about hating umpires. Um, follow us on. Uh. Um, you can find our link tree app is on any on spotify and on everything. But follow us on spotify youtube. All the new contents on youtube, um, get us on there. Uh, amazon members listen Ad free on Amazon Prime Spotify YouTube. I said Spotify 12 times. Heart Radio. Itunes Is iTunes the same. Say Spotify again. Spotify Radio. Spotify Podcast you can listen to. I want to emphasize Spotify. We're on Pandora also, but what is it that? We're on Pandora also, but we really want to drive home that Spotify thing.
Speaker 2:Oh, Spotify's what it is.
Speaker 1:Drive that all the way to the house. I'm done with you, Mike. I'm done with you. Anybody got anything else? Kay, you got anything. Monroe, you want to quit your job while you're on here?
Speaker 3:Always.
Speaker 1:That's what we're going to do. Alright, remember, nobody's stopping you from quitting your job, but you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you you.
Speaker 2:Thank you you.