Unpaid Lunch : A Podcast About Work
Everyone hates work, but almost all of us have to do it. Join Heavy D with a new guest each week, asking the dumbest questions about their job we can come up with.
Basically just people talking about how much they don't want to work. That's all.
We try to stay under your lunch time so you have time to cry before clocking back in. usually a guest stops by to tell us a story about their crappy job.
Remember that nobody is stopping you from quitting your job, But you.
Unpaid Lunch : A Podcast About Work
Quirky Shower Habits and Wild Wild West: A Hilarious Comeback Episode
Ever wondered about the quirks of your favorite podcast hosts? Join us as we make a grand return with Heavy D, Munro, and Mike, who are back by popular demand! Laugh along as we share personal anecdotes about our quirky habits, from Munro's laid-back call center wardrobe to Heavy D's unconventional shower routine, which includes brushing teeth in the shower. We even touch on the absurd yet relatable topic of pooping in the shower. This segment guarantees a blend of humor and candid moments, setting the stage for an unforgettable comeback episode.
But that's not all! We dive into a spirited debate about the movie "Wild Wild West," reminiscing about its catchy theme song and discussing how expectations tied to the original TV show influenced its reception. Our conversation then shifts to the trend of turning serious old shows into comedic films, comparing classics like "Starsky and Hutch" and "Dukes of Hazzard" with more serious modern adaptations like "Hawaii Five-0." From the controversial wheelchair roast scene to YouTube's puzzling content restrictions, we cover it all with nostalgia, humor, and thoughtful commentary. Don't miss this blend of engaging discussions and hearty laughs!
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Clock Out And Tune In.
On your break. Today, everybody's favorite angry army vet is in studio Fuck yellow jackets. And we offer a reward for Rhino's return. Alright, time to clock out for lunch so so what, what, what? What welcome into air paid lunch. Thanks for spending your break with us. This is heavy d uh munro's here in studio and I got Mike he's back by popular demand. It's been 88 years since we had to cue the old lady and the Titanic because we've not recorded in forever. Rhino is MIA. Who, who, who. There's an owl somewhere.
Speaker 1:Owls and shit who, who, who. There's an L somewhere, l's and shit who Fuck. Yeah, I think content since March. Thanks for sticking with us through some sad boy summer.
Speaker 2:Sad boy fall's coming up. Yeah, but that but that's it.
Speaker 1:But sad boy falls on its way. The leaves are falling. We're putting on sweatshirts and ball shorts, son, it's going to be a great cold time. It's much easier to hide your sadness in a hoodie.
Speaker 1:It is and, um, I sit in the back of the like call center so I just wear whatever now Because, like, if it's going to be a down day and I don't have anything when I'm going to have to like Communicate with somebody one on one, I just like, and I don't see anybody all day long. Especially it's like when my people are not there, I'm like, I'm not going to talk to anybody, it's business that way.
Speaker 1:Yeah, just going to hang out and enjoy this day. I get so much done. It's like sitting in that back corner. I get so much done. Nobody comes back there.
Speaker 2:Coworkers are the killer of productivity, right yeah.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, we're just hanging out Coming back. Happy to be back. Rhino, hopefully will be around sometime. Not this episode, but Nikki J is going to be here soon. But yeah, we're going to have somebody different every week and try to make some more content for everybody. Thanks everybody for sticking with us and we were having a conversation very exhilarating about towels and washing off.
Speaker 2:It's an important conversation to have with everyone. It is.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we decided that it's okay to wash your balls and then your face. Were you going back to your face, though? Do you do face and head first? I?
Speaker 2:will go. I start head beard and then I do everything else, and then, of course, condensation in the bathroom tends to give a little bit of a glaze to the face, and so I will go back to the face, after body, to include testicles.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Because I am an efficient bather.
Speaker 1:So okay, I don't miss spots. Hidden secret about me. Whenever nobody's home, I don't even use a towel.
Speaker 2:I just fucking get out of the shower.
Speaker 1:I can't stand that Just get out of the shower and walk around the house play some college football.
Speaker 2:I like to be naked. I just got to be dry.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, when you dry off, cats usually lick it Just walking through the house, fucking cat. Give me that dirty water. I don't use soap, you know.
Speaker 2:Who would?
Speaker 1:Oh, I started a new thing I'm brushing my teeth in the shower.
Speaker 2:That's nice.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, it's a new thing for me. I'm finding out that everybody does it. That's what I'm finding out, because everybody I've mentioned it to, they've been like, yeah, and I'm like, oh, I'm just fucking living in the past. Sorry, george Jetson, I didn't know what was going on. George Jetson, oh Jesus.
Speaker 2:I mean, you feel good, you feel clean all over. Yeah, just do it all in one spot.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and there's a time where I just feel that time where I'm just standing there in the shower anyway, not doing anything, oh, yeah, yeah, because there's a couple minutes before I shampoo my hair where I'm just looking at the hot water in my face.
Speaker 2:And I can just use it yeah that's the sadness.
Speaker 1:I get to wash away the sadness off the back of my neck.
Speaker 2:That's what I like to do.
Speaker 1:I like to let it hit right here and then, um, you know, uh, there's another podcast I was listening to where this topic came up about pooping in the shower wait, wait what pause, hold up record scratch.
Speaker 1:No, there it is. What's funny is on Showing Color I run the board and on this show Keisha's been running it forever. Keisha's been running it and I forgot where the buttons are. I'm going to delete all that and add them back. But yeah, you know you don't ever have to poop when you're in the shower. It's the worst having to get out of the shower and having to go poop.
Speaker 2:I poop every time I get in the shower Before.
Speaker 1:Nope, hold up. What did you say? Every time I get in the shower, that's what I do.
Speaker 2:I poop in the shower. Yeah, before I get in the shower, I try to poop. That way I'm not clean. What's the point in showering? Well, it drains a drain. I just make chocolate waffles just smush it down with your foot.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and the drain is.
Speaker 2:Is that the most efficient way to get it down?
Speaker 1:uh, no, spray it with the water and lead uh, yeah, if you have a sprayer, that'll do it, but I don't have a sprayer, so I have to use like my feet, my hands and like my knees and get down there and push it through.
Speaker 2:Remember to take your toothbrush out of the shower.
Speaker 1:No, I have to use my toothbrush too, so we can jam it down the whole back the tongue cleaner, so it gets in there. It's not my toothbrush, it's my wife's. I wouldn't use my own. Is my cat over there? Yeah, oh, yes, prince Milo, is my cat over there? Yeah, oh, yes, prince Milo. He has to get in the wrestling ring in the middle of the it's in the middle of the table. There's a. He loves it. He loves the wrestling ring. That's hilarious. So that's interesting. That you guys don't ever poop in the shower.
Speaker 2:No, Never done that, never once.
Speaker 1:Getting out of the shower Not a fan of that either. It's real cold. You know, what's funny Is we're like 30 minutes into this episode and we're already talking about poop.
Speaker 2:It has to happen. It's a hot topic.
Speaker 1:Some sort of fixation probably. It's a hot topic.
Speaker 2:It's a hot steaming topic, shit.
Speaker 1:Hit the button. Hit the button, get me out of here. I got to go. I'm trying to think so. Last episode I know you fuckers don't listen to the podcast.
Speaker 2:I pay you for it.
Speaker 1:You do pay me for it. I'm not going to hate, so that's why that's a recurring guest.
Speaker 2:I don't have to listen to support, that's true. Yeah, that's, you know that's recurring guest. I don't have to. I don't have to listen to support, that's true. Make better content.
Speaker 1:You're hurting my feelings.
Speaker 2:I only listen to my episodes, yeah.
Speaker 1:Have me on more. I'll listen to more shit. Yeah, I'm disappointed Nick couldn't get here tonight, because I was excited about listening to you guys fight all night long and rambling. And then we invite Eric and get everybody over.
Speaker 2:Just turn it into a manhouse again.
Speaker 1:Yeah so.
Speaker 2:This is good stuff. This is good radio.
Speaker 1:This is good radio. I was just thinking about you providing your eggs to Eric. Yeah, that's what I was thinking.
Speaker 2:Sometimes he goes. You know they malt chickens a little less, and so sometimes he's not got enough and I've got tons.
Speaker 1:Do you sell the farmer's market?
Speaker 2:No, I'm too lazy for that.
Speaker 1:You just have 100 kids, so you use all your shit.
Speaker 2:We eat a lot and we feed them to the birds, like if they start to go bad, I feed them, I cook them. My birds get scrambled eggs, I know.
Speaker 1:No, they don't bro yeah they absolutely do. You're fucking lying.
Speaker 2:Why would I waste it? It's a good source of protein.
Speaker 1:That's so fucked up, though. Ain't that fucked up?
Speaker 2:Listen, they'll eat. Like if a chicken dies and I don't get it out of the yard soon enough, they'll eat it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean, I guess cats will eat you too If you die in the forework happening to you.
Speaker 2:Chickens are not parakeets, they're awful.
Speaker 1:Don't they get rid of yellow jackets?
Speaker 2:They can't this year.
Speaker 1:Because the yellow jackets are fucking.
Speaker 2:They've been running off.
Speaker 1:They're super yellow jackets too.
Speaker 2:It's bananas.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they're everywhere.
Speaker 2:Usually we do not have any.
Speaker 1:This whole house. Next door is a yellow jacket's nest.
Speaker 2:I'm pretty sure they moved in yeah.
Speaker 1:Is it Yellow Jacket's nest? I'm pretty sure they moved in. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that they're going in the window and, like I've seen, like hundreds of them go in the window.
Speaker 2:The whole house is a nest. They're all over our field. I'm just going to burn it.
Speaker 1:It's not even mine.
Speaker 2:I'm going to cut this.
Speaker 1:I'm not going to cut this. It's fine. That happened up the street, you know. You know, jack Fucking, no this. That lady up the street burned her house down.
Speaker 2:Oh, I thought you meant there was a fire.
Speaker 1:No, when they told her not to burn her house down, she burned it down and it melted that church. Yeah, it melted that church next to it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's crazy, melted it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she just literally was she was just standing outside screaming while it was on fire.
Speaker 2:It was like, yeah, you fucking did it Like you think was going to happen.
Speaker 1:You did the thing.
Speaker 2:That's what you did.
Speaker 1:The thing you were trying to do, done. Yeah, you did it, oh man.
Speaker 2:Rory drove or Lucy drove by. Oh my God, I can't stop hitting it. I apologize. Lucy drove by it at some point and hasn't stopped talking about it since, like it really stuck with her that there was a fire, so she's very afraid.
Speaker 1:Flood damage and.
Speaker 2:Cat on the counter.
Speaker 1:Yeah, cat's on the counter. Don't eat everybody's food, it's fine. Mike's lost in the cat. I'm sorry. It's fine, the cat's there. It's a in the cat, I'm sorry. It's fine.
Speaker 2:The cat's there. It's a wonderful little cat.
Speaker 1:Orange cat Really lost in the.
Speaker 2:I'm really still lost in the chicken on chicken shit dude.
Speaker 1:I'm lost in the chicken on chicken Because then, like the level, I mean, yeah, you're right, the chicken on chicken shit dude. I'm lost in the chicken on chicken because then, like the level, I mean, yeah, you're right, they would eat it anyway. I'm lost on that. Isn't that like there's a thing in what's the bad Korea?
Speaker 2:North.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that one when, like all the people, have this sickness because they eat potatoes grown from poop, from potatoes, the only fertilizer they have is potatoes. The only thing they have to eat is potatoes. There's nothing in it.
Speaker 2:I don't know that it sucks there. It wouldn't surprise me. Bad sucks. I could not imagine living in a country like that. Imagine losing that lottery. Bad sucks. I could not imagine living in a country Like that.
Speaker 1:Imagine losing that lottery. Just been fucking born.
Speaker 2:We had no vote in it, we just happened to end up here.
Speaker 1:That would be.
Speaker 2:I mean, there's so many Like rural India.
Speaker 1:You think rural India. Where would you rather be born?
Speaker 2:Here or there.
Speaker 1:Rural India or India you think rural India.
Speaker 2:Where would you rather be born? Here or there?
Speaker 1:Rural India or North Korea, north Korea. Oh, what's this game show called?
Speaker 2:It's a good one though.
Speaker 1:I'm going to say India. Yeah, I think so.
Speaker 2:I think India India, I mean it's super, duper poor, but there's opportunity to get out.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you could.
Speaker 2:I mean it's still a pretty, I mean it's a fully advanced nation with freedoms.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you're just going to die in North Korea? Yeah.
Speaker 2:I mean you're equally, you're going to starve to death in either one, All right.
Speaker 1:So I think it was like two episodes ago that you were here and we did the cards. Yeah perhaps Are those cards that were used, I don't know. I remember all the ones you used. You do so. We found some that were unused.
Speaker 2:This is my one for you. Do it Briefly summarize the 1999 movie Wild Wild West.
Speaker 1:Wicked Wild Wild. So do you know that? I know. So I think we've had this conversation. I'm pretty sure I know every word to that song, Like beginning to end the whole song. I know every word to it. I used to know a ton of the like, the words to the movie, like I used to be able to just go all the way through it.
Speaker 2:That movie's great it is. It is a wonderful movie. It's got really good actors in it.
Speaker 1:If it wasn't based on the old show, people would have loved that movie think so yeah, because people wanted it to be Wild Wild West and it wasn't like that.
Speaker 1:It wasn't silly like that. But they were doing that whole era of movies in that time that they were doing like Starsky and Hutch and Dukes of Hazzard and that movie, that were almost spinoffs but instead they were silly from shows that weren't silly like Starsky and Hutch and all that shit. It was not funny at the time. Now they do that, but then they make stuff serious, way too serious, like Hawaii Five-0. There's a bunch of terrible TV that you don't watch.
Speaker 2:I thought it was a great movie. I also think that it was not a good movie. I love it. The fucking magnets and the the blades of the magnets. It's got so many great actors that don't do great acting and when he's on her boobs.
Speaker 1:oh, that movie has one of the best scenes ever that you can't do anymore, like that scene where he's in the wheelchair and he's like I haven't seen you in a coon day. Oh yeah, it's like ah, that whole scene is just roasts. Yeah, you can't do that anywhere but YouTube now Can't do a lot on YouTube. Yeah, but you can roast people on YouTube.
Speaker 2:Can you? It's not in the comments. Yeah, I think so. Why can't you? I don't know, I'm gonna say it why can't you say like suicide or kill or murder?
Speaker 1:or something. We're gonna bleep all that shit wrong button again.
Speaker 2:I said I didn't think you'd be able to, but why can't you? That shit happens Like if you're making an anti. You don't want to put your finger on the button Suicide.
Speaker 1:I was quicker than you, anti-suicide.
Speaker 2:You did it to yourself that time.
Speaker 1:But if you want to make an anti-suicide video, wow, wow, in the eight of them you did it to yourself that time. But if you want to make an anti-suicide video, wow, I can't say the word. Eight of them, I can't say the Say sigh-side.
Speaker 2:I tickled myself out.
Speaker 1:Sigh-nod.
Speaker 2:Happiness. You know what? I'm not going to make a euphemism. While I'm complaining about having to use euphemisms, put my glasses on, insult me.
Speaker 1:You start using big words. I don't understand. That's when I take that as disrespect. I wouldn't know you can say anything.
Speaker 2:I know that your viewers are smarter than us. They'll know.
Speaker 1:They can't be dumber than us. They do listen to the show.
Speaker 2:They've been around this long.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't think so, it's okay.
Speaker 2:I tickled myself and started crying.
Speaker 1:I started crying.
Speaker 2:It was fun. I'm losing it again.
Speaker 1:Talk. I'm so invested in you. Losing it, though, is what I'm so invested in. Oh my God, I'm mind blown by that. I'm okay. You see me last night texting Mike when Mike's on the field coaching, and I know he'll get my messages on his watch. So I'm just going to send him random shit, like they're going to throw it to number three.
Speaker 2:You see me look at my watch and look at him.
Speaker 1:I definitely thought that kid was going to throw 400 yards. I really did.
Speaker 2:I was confident we were going to get work.
Speaker 1:I didn't know.
Speaker 2:his receivers couldn't catch, I didn't know that they held more than anybody I've ever seen.
Speaker 1:Well, that's what they were like, and it wasn't home cooking on the holdings. I don't think so either. I've seen it, you can see it. Yeah, is it just?
Speaker 2:they're bad at hold, because everybody holds, but like they were bad at holding Like they stretched the jerseys.
Speaker 1:You think they don't have refs that call it.
Speaker 2:They must not, right. I mean they can't, I mean everybody holds, but when you're pulling, jersey.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you can't make it. You can't grab jersey You're going to get caught. Yeah, there was only like one or two calls that I thought were, and I think Jerry was calling everything. They didn't want him to.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Like I know what's-his-name was like, shaking his head whenever Jerry would call something. That's funny.
Speaker 2:We got saved on Gunner's unsportsmanlike he should have been tossed.
Speaker 1:I thought so.
Speaker 2:Yeah. You know, but that was one of the home cookings.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's okay. You know, we won't complain about that.
Speaker 2:That was a stand-up move by a dude protecting a dumb kid.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Or a kid being dumb rather.
Speaker 1:All kids are dumb.
Speaker 2:All kids are dumb, every single one.
Speaker 1:Say the dumbest things. Everybody in here just yes, they're all dumb.
Speaker 2:I was dumb as a kid. Emma is dumb.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm still dumb, she's not dumb at all. No, jude is very smart, also really dumb, super dumb Like shockingly dumb.
Speaker 2:Kids and teenagers especially.
Speaker 1:Babies are smart though.
Speaker 2:They trust everybody. That's not a good idea.
Speaker 1:You know who don't Stone Cold DTA. That's not a good idea.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know who don't Stone Cold. What word DTA.
Speaker 1:That's what I always learned I don't talk to cops and I don't trust anybody Speaking of cops. Um, um.
Speaker 2:Kamala.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we're going to talk about the election now.
Speaker 2:This is politics talk with Unpaid Politics. That's what this does. This is Unpaid Politics. No such thing.
Speaker 1:I think Accurate RFK's pesticide speech was my favorite thing about life.
Speaker 2:I don't see it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he's pretty crazy, it's okay. What's funny is the way I feel is, when Obama was president, the world was less funny. So what I mean is there's good content that comes from Trump being president. You know it's a lot of comedic content and you know some really mean stuff too.
Speaker 2:but that's when the that's where the humor is. It's funny.
Speaker 1:It's funny that he's president. That's funny, anyway, that's funny Like the whole thing is funny, literally reality star. Yeah, it's like whole thing's funny, literally reality star. Yeah, it's like electing the Miz.
Speaker 2:Remember when everybody was like the Rock? Well, that's silly. We vote for real politicians like Donald Trump.
Speaker 1:Guess what? The Rock's not a WF Hall of Famer, yet Donald Trump is.
Speaker 2:That's true.
Speaker 1:It's like the only president of any country that's a WWF Hall of Famer.
Speaker 2:Man, he is just unstoppable, isn't he?
Speaker 1:He's the greatest. He's the greatest.
Speaker 2:The biggest Chosen by God.
Speaker 1:He is chosen by God.
Speaker 2:I've seen many memes about it.
Speaker 1:It has to be real if I have seen AI art about it yeah. That my aunt shared Everybody's aunt shared it.
Speaker 2:I'm sharing it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that my aunt shared, Everybody's aunt sharing it. Right now it confused by your mom's social media a little bit. I don't really see it.
Speaker 2:No that's good. That's the best way to do it. I don't look at most people's social media. That's good I go on there, post my thing, scroll a couple of times, then leave it.
Speaker 1:Fuck you people driving too fast. That's what your post says.
Speaker 2:Is that what most of mine would say?
Speaker 1:No, it's like for sometimes. Yeah, yeah, I guess, yeah, you guys should slow down. You guys are idiots.
Speaker 2:I say that I don't know, I don't keep track of what I say, I don't know, you're just just tweeting like trump, just firing them off.
Speaker 1:I do, I just fire them off. I think we're gonna get um. I was just thinking about your building. I was thinking about I know, it's like strip now.
Speaker 2:Well, I don't know if you were gonna start rebuilding yeah yeah, because we were talking about moving the studio.
Speaker 1:Get renting a um, like one of the buildings you know you can get, like they bring them in or whatever oh yeah and put out here in the yard and having like the studio in that.
Speaker 2:That's a good idea. Yeah, it really is. You can just get.
Speaker 1:We have the wifi to reach out there.
Speaker 2:How the works for mom. We have to have banging in there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she worked for mom all the time.
Speaker 2:All the time.
Speaker 1:That's.
Speaker 2:It's wonderful.
Speaker 1:I bother her constantly I was going to say it sucks for her probably.
Speaker 2:Me and Lucy are just constantly. Please help Do you know where my pants are.
Speaker 1:She's trying to do actual work.
Speaker 2:Real shit. She's talking about money in the millions and I'm walking around in my underwear Looking for a diaper, with Anna on them, because that's what she wants. That's the one she wants and she's talking about. Well, we can get three million off of this company if we do this, and I'm just we're out of orange juice.
Speaker 1:It's this, immediate thing. Walk in there with an empty bottle.
Speaker 2:Thank God she's rarely on. I bought her. You know the on-air sign like you should have we need one of those. Uh, I got her one. It's over the door so she hits it when she's on camera I like that because I walk in.
Speaker 1:I'm under there all the time we were talking about those videos, those um like during covid there was a ton of like because everybody was working from home. Like those videos like that. That little girl that like comes in the room or whatever. It's like when the guy's obviously like he's a lawyer or something, he's on the call. That little girl comes in the room and is like, and the housekeeper comes in and like, crawls in the room and grabs the kid, like, tries to crawl back out of the room yeah and that judge or that lawyer that uh put the cat I'm not a cat.
Speaker 2:He literally said I'm not a cat.
Speaker 1:He literally said I'm not a cat. We can continue.
Speaker 2:The judge was like no bitch, I cannot do it.
Speaker 1:I cannot do it. If you're going to be a cat, how?
Speaker 2:do you like? How can you not figure out how to turn it off His?
Speaker 1:granddaughter came in and did it, I think.
Speaker 2:Really.
Speaker 1:His granddaughter came in and turned it off.
Speaker 2:If you've got a granddaughter, you get a pass.
Speaker 1:Press the button and look at him like.
Speaker 2:There's already things that I can't do. Oh yeah, I've already hit that age.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm like hand and clay stuff, Like do this. I don't know how to do this.
Speaker 2:I will not have TikToks, or I have an Instagram, but it's not even on my phone anymore because I don't understand any of it.
Speaker 1:So I have it for the podcast I just promote and shit what are you going to fly?
Speaker 2:going on Maybe.
Speaker 1:Did it come out of that Doubtful? You looked at it like maybe I never, know It'd be awful. I'm going to tell you Something in there would be dead the way that is Wouldn't be fun. No, keep pregame with that you feel good, oh UK.
Speaker 2:Go Cats.
Speaker 1:Go Cats, who we play this week.
Speaker 2:Who.
Speaker 1:Cats Football.
Speaker 2:This fucking owl man.
Speaker 1:This owl's still here. It's still here, South Carolina. You're in South Carolina. I wish.
Speaker 2:I don't think I am.
Speaker 1:When's the last time you went to a beach? A beach.
Speaker 2:Last year probably.
Speaker 1:Where'd you go?
Speaker 2:Somewhere in Florida.
Speaker 1:It's all the same.
Speaker 2:If you go to the Gulf, the inside. Oh yeah, Maybe somewhere near Tampa Bay, somewhere you have no idea. No, I'm not going to Treasure Island. That doesn't feel right.
Speaker 1:Treasure Island does sound right, it doesn't feel right. I'll be honest, I don't think you went there Something like that Near Tampa Bay.
Speaker 2:It was nice. It was warm water. There was a Coast Guard station. I love the Coast Guard. I got really excited about seeing their boats.
Speaker 1:It's the truth. I love the Coast Guard. They're cool why?
Speaker 2:Because I should have joined them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it'd be cool.
Speaker 2:Yeah, man.
Speaker 1:You'd still be doing it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I wouldn't have been blown up a bunch of times. Right, you know where you don't get hit. Hit IEDs.
Speaker 1:Only drowned. That's the only thing that happens.
Speaker 2:They wear life jackets. How many?
Speaker 1:Coast Guard. Deaths are there a year.
Speaker 2:I bet it's not that many.
Speaker 1:I bet it's not a lot. Do you think there's one a day?
Speaker 2:Probably Think about heavy water rescue.
Speaker 1:They're pretty fucking good, though you know what I mean. That whole movie, only one person died.
Speaker 2:Ashton Kutcher did he die?
Speaker 1:I don't know, man, I didn't watch it. What do you mean? I'm not saying anything. Funny story about that movie when I worked at Mountain Video. Do you remember that Mountain Video?
Speaker 2:Where was it?
Speaker 1:In making. The one like near the highway, yeah, the one like where highway, yeah, yeah, I do the one where Dollar Store is now around there. Yeah, when I worked there for a while, somebody came in. One time that movie had just come out. The Guardian, the Guardian, yeah, the movie had just come out and somebody came in and was like literally said, was like literally said, hey, do you have that movie where Kevin Costner dies saving Ashton Kutcher's life?
Speaker 2:And I was like what the fuck?
Speaker 1:I was like the Guardian and they're like, yeah, and I was like, alright, no, it's out. Guess I'm not watching that shit you don't need to watch it.
Speaker 2:I think I I watched it it sounds like you watched.
Speaker 1:It sounds like you're into it.
Speaker 2:No, I love the coast guard.
Speaker 1:I'm not into that movie I don't remember it that well I might have.
Speaker 2:I would I fucking probably loved it the only coast guard movie?
Speaker 1:there are not, why would there be?
Speaker 2:right. I mean they do cool shit like if you want to get in a firefight I know you don't it's okay, it's not fun, wow they fucked me up on gta yeah yeah, uh, if you want the boats, coast guard man, that's where it's at, if we're not at war. Which man we always?
Speaker 1:are you literally are a pirate hunter?
Speaker 2:yeah, that's cool that's why I wish I was in the coast that'd be cool to be a pirate hunter.
Speaker 1:Yeah man, dead man, deadliest catch Like they're going out, yeah.
Speaker 2:They're like sinking drug subs and shit. That's cool.
Speaker 1:Killing bloated whales like blowing up bloated whales and shit.
Speaker 2:I want to imagine it's like Miami Vice down there with them, like chasing dudes with the Probably sucks.
Speaker 1:You know, Probably sucks. You're probably sitting on a boat doing paperwork.
Speaker 2:I know what the infantry is really like, and it's not as cool as the movies.
Speaker 1:You're just sitting on a boat doing paperwork man, it sucks.
Speaker 2:Living in a box like your bed is just a coffin.
Speaker 1:You think living in a sub would suck, living on a boat sucks worse. Yeah, I don't think I'd want to do that. You know, I've never been on a a big boat. I've never been on a cruise. You ever been on a cruise?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm going In January.
Speaker 1:No kids.
Speaker 2:All kids Fuck With a whole family.
Speaker 1:No kids would be hot. Oh, your whole family, whole family. You need some anxiety meds to take with you.
Speaker 2:I've got plenty. Yeah, okay, that's a lot. Yeah, man, that is a lot.
Speaker 1:How many countries Are you going to when marijuana is illegal?
Speaker 2:I don't have a clue. I was just planning On taking it anyway. Vape, I mean.
Speaker 1:You gonna put it in your butt.
Speaker 2:Of course it's a prison part. Where else are?
Speaker 1:you gonna put it.
Speaker 2:But it'll be clean.
Speaker 1:It was never, you said. You answered so quickly. It was never in doubt how you were getting it onto the boat. I'm just going to get it on there, my butt.
Speaker 2:What do you mean? Where do you put it? You got to do what you got to do Sometimes.
Speaker 1:I got to hit it. I'm worried about overheating this battery really.
Speaker 2:You got me. I'm trying real hard to not lose it.
Speaker 1:It's boofing man. Boof my vape pen, yeah, I think you can do it.
Speaker 2:Fart comes out.
Speaker 1:Yeah, burp, that'd be awesome. What a trick, david Blaine Cool, calm down Criss Angel. Yeah, Calm down down chris angel and eats a joint shits a vape pen. That'd be a real trick on the plane. They're like do you have anything up your ass?
Speaker 2:no, but I got this weed in my mouth I got real worried flying with my vape pen and they didn't care at all.
Speaker 1:Oh really, Maybe nobody cares anymore.
Speaker 2:It was a domestic flight, but I was flying back to yeah because they're not going to fucking test it, that it's weed.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean. They don't know that it's a fucking, very obvious. Yeah, but it's not.
Speaker 2:They don't give a shit, they just don't care no. Everybody in New York smokes weed Literally everybody. It smelled like weed non-stop.
Speaker 1:It's just weed. It's mostly weed. That's funny really.
Speaker 2:I was just walking around smoking, weed the whole time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I know that's a COVID thing too. Since it's COVID, they're just like fuck it, let's just legalize it everywhere, decriminalize, boom, we'll get it. It'll get decriminalized here. The medical ones are going to open.
Speaker 2:Next year.
Speaker 1:Next year.
Speaker 2:Yep, I need to get my shit together.
Speaker 1:I think you'd just be able to buy it. I don't think you need to get any shit together. I think it'll be fine. It should be. I think they'll, just because Virginia was supposed to be like that too for a while, and they just didn't want to fuck that one.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think they just did whatever they wanted.
Speaker 1:I don't know if you got busted like they did. Yeah, I don't think it's a nobody cares, they were still trying to figure out what they were doing when they did that big bust, like they shut down a bunch of people and then they're like, oops, we were making money.
Speaker 2:Perfect spot for one. Top of the mountain no kidding, I thought that's what they were building. I did too, and then they just games.
Speaker 1:Man, I'm so mad that it was fucking uh skill games that's stupid.
Speaker 2:I thought for sure it was gonna be weed. I did too. You remember how much money that gas station made selling beer before you could get it in letcher County A lot.
Speaker 1:Yep, so everything that's so hometown talk. Neon gas station at the shelves are all cleared waiting for beer.
Speaker 2:Is that right?
Speaker 1:Yeah, dollar store selling the shit out of beer.
Speaker 2:Right now they are. Yeah, you're fucking kidding me, I promise bro. I need to go in.
Speaker 1:Food world's getting liquor.
Speaker 2:Food world is where.
Speaker 1:IGA Neon food world is getting liquor.
Speaker 2:Oh, thank God.
Speaker 1:Yeah, liquor bro, neon is back. Neon is back, baby. Finally, they're already talking about opening a Mexican restaurant where the drugstore was.
Speaker 2:What when On the drugstore? Was what when On the corner? Yeah, groovy it's not big enough Fucking. It is big enough.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean it's probably okay, but I think that building is probably going to get condemned when somebody comes and inspects it, because the dry cleaners was never touched. Nobody ever cleaned it after the flood. Nobody's ever been in there. Dude, that whole building is mold because nobody ever went in there. They fucking locked it up. It's still the same. The washers and dryers are all filled with flood mud.
Speaker 2:I'm amazed most of the buildings in Neon are okay.
Speaker 1:It's crazy. Yeah, it's like and they've been through a few of those and it's crazy that they're all tough. It's unbelievable. And now we're gonna have liquor everywhere.
Speaker 2:I'm so ready for that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they said there's a bunch of crooked shit involved with it, but I was like who gives a fuck.
Speaker 2:What could be crooked about it?
Speaker 1:I think just the people opening the businesses and stuff Like, I guess, liquor stores, I don't know. I don't give a fuck Also Rip Don Childers. Since he died, all the air at the Double Quicks is free.
Speaker 2:I noticed that.
Speaker 1:Happened the day he died.
Speaker 2:Did it really Swear to God?
Speaker 1:Very nice, or that was on purpose. I think so. I mean, I think he was always the one when we were at Irvine, he was always the one that said something about it, that he wanted to charge for it Because it used to be free.
Speaker 2:Did it really.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it's free again. And it's the good one. Look at the good one With the valve and shit. He's fucking nice Good air compressor. I hit it all the time, straight shots baby, that's great Straight air compressor.
Speaker 2:Oxygen hits. How do you get that? It's fucking. Yeah, we have those oxygen things for the high school.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, have you seen them? You hit those sometimes. Yeah, it's wonderful. What do they call that? Whippets? No, no, no, it's oxygen.
Speaker 2:Oh, whippet is from Whippet. Is the drug? Yeah, oxygen's just.
Speaker 1:Oxygen's just breathing better than you normally do. It gets you high Overbreathing. Your brain's like yo, this feels great. This feels awesome. Why don't we get this more? We should breathe like this more often. I smoked for like 20 years.
Speaker 2:That's breathe like this more often. I smoked for like 20 years. That's never going to happen again.
Speaker 1:I don't remember anything anymore. That's part of my problem.
Speaker 2:Get your shit together, man. There's no excuse for that.
Speaker 1:I have an excuse? I feel like I have a pretty solid excuse.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. This episode is brought to you by From Under Gourmet Cheeses. From the company that brought you decadent items such as a new fissure gourmet meats and Taintland wines, brings you the pairing of a lifetime. From Under Gourmet Cheeses are harvested only when the rind has reached its peak and only by the most delicate hands of our seasoned cheese aficionados. Since 1869, there's been no taste in your mouth like Fremonda gourmet cheese. Mention unpaid lunch for an exclusive sample straight from the source, mailed to you at no charge. Restrictions apply, not applicable in all 50 states. Cheese must be harvested by mouth, not responsible for accidents. By listening to this, you waive us all liabilities whatsoever. Do not pass code, do not click $200,.
Speaker 2:Nope.
Speaker 1:Did you say something? I don't think so. Did you Like? It's a Wizard of Oz scene. Did you say something? Oil can, because she's holding that fucking can Oil can. This is terrible podcasting.
Speaker 2:I was having fun though.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I was having a ball. My cats are chasing a mouse. We have a mouse.
Speaker 2:Do you really?
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's the first time we ever had one.
Speaker 2:I don't know, you have two cats.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they're in. It's like they can't get it. It stays behind. It's a smart mouse or some shit, but they'll get it. They killed one. There's another one, good.
Speaker 2:They killed one.
Speaker 1:There's another one. Good for them, I love how metal cats are.
Speaker 2:I love cats.
Speaker 1:Jasper's metal as fuck. I love him. Jasper literally gives less fucks than I. Want to be him so bad. Yes, I want to be him because he lives the best life.
Speaker 2:Yeah, cats are the most spoiled animal on the planet.
Speaker 1:Well and me, the Egyptians worshipped them. Yeah that's why the Egyptians worshipped them. What?
Speaker 2:You said and me and he said the Egyptians worshipped them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the Egyptians worshipped me.
Speaker 2:The jokes work best when you explain them.
Speaker 1:I think so Always. When I have to explain my jokes, those are the best ones I have the most fun with them but I have a bad habit lately, just walking off with my jokes, don't you just fucking no sale it and just leave. Well, all right, can't win them all. Have a good day, um, but you know, those are my friends. They laugh at. They laugh at jokes and they're not funny. Good, charlotte says that I think about girls. Girls, they laugh at jokes when they're not funny. Good Charlotte says that I think.
Speaker 2:Girls will laugh at boys when they're not funny yeah. Good Charlotte, what a pull.
Speaker 1:I learned most of my childhood, like my teenage years Were molded by Good Charlotte.
Speaker 2:Good Charlotte, oh Jesus, high school never ends.
Speaker 1:Molded by Good Charlotte. Good Charlotte, oh Jesus, high school never ends. Is that Good Charlotte?
Speaker 2:I don't think so. Good Charlotte did Little Things. Oh Right the. Anthem the Anthem.
Speaker 1:Yeah, this is the Anthem.
Speaker 2:You, you see, oasis is getting back together the for a week oasis.
Speaker 1:There's like one of the. The bet nods and oasis breaks up before the reunion tour is over. Yeah, I think there's no way those brothers cannot get along, they're just poor, I think I think they were like we don't have any money, that they were like we don't have any money. That's got to be it. We don't have any money Because they hate making music with each other. They just don't have any money.
Speaker 2:Well, they don't do anything.
Speaker 1:Right, they don't have any albums. Everybody's like they're the greatest musicians of all time, and I was like are they? They have an album. What are you? They're not even the modern day Beatles. They're the Beatles 30 years ago.
Speaker 2:They're the old Beatles Modern day at all, name four of their songs.
Speaker 1:I can't name one of their songs. Name one of their songs Wonderwall, that's Oasis. Yeah, fuck, that hits dude.
Speaker 2:I love them Immediately over.
Speaker 1:They're immediately over, I'm sold on them. Champagne Supernova yeah, they're immediately over, I'm sold on them. Champagne Supernova yeah. Oh fuck, that song's great. That's them, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, don't walk away in anger. I don't know that. I'm trying to think of another.
Speaker 1:Okay, I didn't know. I guess I didn't know. You know, I'm easy man, I like yellow, I like Coldplay.
Speaker 2:I guess I didn't know.
Speaker 1:You know I'm easy man. I like yellow, I like Coldplay, I like Coldplay.
Speaker 2:The song's good. I'm old, I like to listen to music. I like to listen to I know you're gay.
Speaker 1:Huh, I know you're gay. Yeah, rainbow Bumper's tickering my chorus as I heart balls. That's how this has been. This, I don't. This has been, I mean, every, all the time with you, mike. It's exactly what I expect and and that's why we love you, and that's why the fans love you. It's because all the time it's it's what we're expecting, is is um I didn't break opsec this time, though that's cool, I didn't tell any stories.
Speaker 1:I don't have to cancel anything. I had to rearrange some stuff, but I don't have to cancel. I don't have to delete. Oh, maybe.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, the whole suicide thing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think we have to, maybe not. I think maybe I'm supposed to bleep suicide. I think we can't have that on Spotify, I don't know why on Spotify, I don't know why. Well, logic has that one song just strictly about Spotify. It feels like we should be able to do it. I mean, it's about not having suicide. I guess that's what we said.
Speaker 2:Just say right now that it's important not to commit suicide. It's important not to. I have lost so many friends to suicide. That's what I'm saying, and I think that it's important to say the word.
Speaker 1:So people get it out there. If we delete the word, then people want the.
Speaker 2:They won't know.
Speaker 1:We should delete the word debt.
Speaker 2:It shouldn't. Yeah, let's delete it. Don't make it edgy, make it taboo.
Speaker 1:Suicide or debt.
Speaker 2:Both. There's nothing edgy about taboo.
Speaker 1:Fuck. You know what's theft Taxation. Never forget that. Don't get me fucking started.
Speaker 2:I just paid taxes yesterday. Why, what's theft Taxation? Never forget that. Oh, that's what I just paid taxes yesterday. Why did you pay them?
Speaker 1:Well, I mean my registration, and that includes that's your taxes on the taxes you paid is what registration fucking is.
Speaker 2:So I am paid by the taxpayers. Oh by taxes, so I am paying taxes on my.
Speaker 1:You're just making a deposit in your own account.
Speaker 2:I'm paying taxes on taxes.
Speaker 1:You're investing in yourself. I don't understand it. You're investing in yourself. You should bring this up at a meeting Of. Excuse me, why do I have to pay any taxes? Super confused why this makes any sense. I'll pay my own company.
Speaker 2:I can't stand property. You're going to get me fucking going on the government. I hate the goddamn government so much.
Speaker 1:Remember when you worked for them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was great. Continue to pay me please.
Speaker 1:Continue to pay me government. Oh, they're paying you and playing you.
Speaker 2:That's fine. They played me for a long time. Now they gotta pay me. It was a short term investment on their part that didn't work out yeah, they thought for sure you'd be dead by now oh yeah, I thought for sure I would have done shit a lot different if I had known I was gonna survive it was gonna be fucking alive and have to raise all these children.
Speaker 1:I would have made a lot less kids you wake up every morning with four kids. Just wait until Heather leaves and you've got to raise them by yourself.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, I'm amazed it's not happening yet.
Speaker 1:That's surprising. Who was it? I was talking to today and I was like it's really impressive that we were able to get wives, and it's even much more impressive we were able to get like legitimate, and it's even much more impressive. We were able to get like legitimate successful. It was like what is going on? I know I don't deserve it.
Speaker 2:What happened when I was cool, like when I was army cool, it made a lot more sense for me to have a functional wife. Yeah, that's true. Nowadays, if you meet me, it's like holy shit.
Speaker 1:That's surprising. They have to ask about your history to find out how you're married to her they immediately assumed oh, he wasn't around yeah, I let the bit get away from you you got lost in the bit oh, maybe I went too far, maybe, maybe, and here I said we don't have to cut shit I got too cocky. Oh God, it's good. I'm just going to censor it, it's fine.
Speaker 2:This button.
Speaker 1:Suicide, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:It's the only time we successfully censored it.
Speaker 1:God, this whole episode is going to get cut, yeah, so hopefully we'll have this episode will come out by the weekend. We're doing this on a fucking middle of the Wednesday night, so this will probably come out the weekend and we'll probably have another one the following weekend, the next episode. I don't know who's going to be on it. I'll be there, we'll see who shows up, but remember to like and comment. Comment helps more than you think it does. So do that, please, and subscribe and share it with everybody. I want to thank a few people for sticking with us through everything Patrons that still pay in, still in the paid tier of unpaid lunch, still sticking with us. So we appreciate. The hustlers all the way down Corey, phillip, brandy, micah shout out Cluck Truck, chris Hammons and then Mike. That's the only reason he gets to come on the show.
Speaker 2:I pay to get access.
Speaker 1:All these people can come on the show whenever they want to, and Micah's going to be happy about this episode. I'm sure he's probably going to come on the show soon and hopefully bring some chicken, and I know you'll show up for that.
Speaker 1:I love chicken you fucking be here for the chicken Chicken's, eating chickens and shit like that. Who the fuck knows what we even talk about on this show? It's insane that anybody even listens. If they do, you guys got anything else. Remember that. Nobody stop you from quitting your job, but you. We've got to pick that up. Bye.