Unpaid Lunch : A Podcast About Work
Everyone hates work, but almost all of us have to do it. Join Heavy D with a new guest each week, asking the dumbest questions about their job we can come up with.
Basically just people talking about how much they don't want to work. That's all.
We try to stay under your lunch time so you have time to cry before clocking back in. usually a guest stops by to tell us a story about their crappy job.
Remember that nobody is stopping you from quitting your job, But you.
Unpaid Lunch : A Podcast About Work
The Sharing Program
Let us take you on a hilarious journey of debates around this topic, stories featuring our favorite corner store that sells everything from oil to chickens, and even houses a neighboring sex shop! We also share tales of gangstas, the potential of bringing pets to the store, and a peculiar encounter with a hat-obsessed woman.
Now, if you think public bathrooms are uneventful, think again! Our personal experiences might just change your mind. From outrageous encounters in a Goodwill bathroom to the bizarre world of men’s restrooms, we've got it all. We even offer some unconventional parenting advice on training your four-year-old, and surprisingly, how Pokémon Go can be your savior at work.
As we navigate through life's oddities, we also talk about our band, Season of the Witch, and how it evolved from being a basement project to playing with our former "dickheads". We emphasize the power of having a supportive team, the beauty of making new friends, and the importance of carving out your own path. Hear about our experiences with the elderly, our own clothing quirks, and how quitting jobs led us to follow our passion. So sit back, relax, and join us in our eccentric discussions that are sure to leave you both inspired and thoroughly entertained!
(All of our descriptions are done with AI, So enjoy them as much as we do)
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Welcome and I paid lunch and thanks for spending your break with us. I'm heavy D. With me, as always, is rhino. It's our Labor Day episode, 30th episode. We're pretty sure it's 30. We can't count. We counted. There's the bonus episode, right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that kind of folks up the math like yeah it confused me.
Speaker 1:every time I do it, so it's like it's 30. This is 30. This is 30.
Speaker 2:We'll say it's 30, whether it is or not.
Speaker 1:And then Labor Day. I decided that's our holiday.
Speaker 2:I Support that. I mean, we literally just had like two episodes back to back where we all be talked about was three-day weekends.
Speaker 1:So I'm internally grateful that I don't think the weekend starts on Friday, or do you think the weekend starts on Saturday, saturday, really, you don't think we can start some Friday like after work Friday, you get off work if you work on Friday.
Speaker 2:No, and you don't think mm-hmm, I wish it did, but like most time it's still such a shitty day because it still is work that it does not carry out like my brain's not free until Saturday.
Speaker 1:I think you're wrong.
Speaker 2:I mean, I'm just a studio with us today.
Speaker 1:The normal crew is always west is here hiding in the corner keys here. She's always bringing people stuff and taking care of people and then.
Speaker 2:I was gonna happen, but I'm pumped. She brought you a cold towel. Yeah, oh yeah. It's so hot in here I had to take my hat and glasses. I'll call it hot man they're fucking fine.
Speaker 1:Jesus, anyway, in studio To my favorite employees at my favorite corner store.
Speaker 3:Where.
Speaker 1:I have a membership, lexi and Bre here.
Speaker 4:Say hi guys, hello there's Like get them.
Speaker 1:Um, you get them anytime during the day, so we talk for like hours and just hang out. Yeah, I know, guess what? Well, I get that now. It's all fluff.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean you should just have them me.
Speaker 5:You make them at the door like some kind of Circumstance there like those interviews where they run up to you real quick with the microphones and their iPhone.
Speaker 1:Those are all planned. Oh yeah, okay, this was a plan Planned a little bit, lexi, how are you?
Speaker 4:I'm good.
Speaker 1:You didn't study. I'm glad you're louder on the mic than Bree is.
Speaker 5:Oh, it's surprising.
Speaker 2:Because she's really loud.
Speaker 1:No, it's good, so wanted to have somebody special on For 30th episode and for Labor Day episode. What do you guys think the weekend starts? I think it starts on Friday. Okay, if you're off the weekend, right. If you're off the weekend, does it start on Friday when you?
Speaker 4:get off work.
Speaker 2:I'm sorry, I was just saying Bre meant.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I work a Lot of weekends and it every fucking weekend. It's.
Speaker 2:Friday, it starts on Friday.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I still disagree.
Speaker 2:I'm not on what do you?
Speaker 1:do like when you get off work on Friday, why you probably got a baseball.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean I'm still probably working. Yes, yeah but I like my whole entire weekend, is that anyway?
Speaker 5:It's cuz you're a workaholic Um hey, at least you were a good boss, thank God.
Speaker 2:People on the stroke, the ego man.
Speaker 1:I don't know why this is new to you. I'm pretty sure we had a whole ego stroking rhino episode over. You've been a good boss, I listen to it.
Speaker 5:Yeah, we.
Speaker 1:All know that it's a good boss. I'll take it.
Speaker 2:No, it's just. It's not hard to not be a dick.
Speaker 5:I don't know how the people understand that.
Speaker 1:I think you're pointing that towards me. I think it was directed at me.
Speaker 2:I mean, have you women's? Last time you was managing it was a dick.
Speaker 1:I Don't. I got a different job at work. Yeah, um you guys doing. You made a call, my good week, forget about that. No, I'm gonna call. No, I'm just gonna call them in second it's like who wants to be a millionaire?
Speaker 2:We're gonna phone a friend here to me.
Speaker 1:We're gonna, yeah, we're gonna, we'll phone a friend, we're gonna call the two to the other workers at the corner shop corner store store on the corner.
Speaker 3:You see my prostitute.
Speaker 5:Well, it's next to the sex store, so it is next to a sex store. It's a solid corner.
Speaker 1:That's my favorite strip of stores. I think like I can get Oli's, so I can get like just I can get some carpet or like shit or yeah, or off-brand Jam the rural king bathroom chickens and get. There's not real king.
Speaker 2:What is it called not real Harbour freight? Harbour freight get chickens.
Speaker 1:There's chickens. You can buy more. Let me tell you something's funny.
Speaker 5:There's heart. There's chickens at a harbour freight.
Speaker 4:I thought we have store chickens, if that's the right, only a store cat.
Speaker 1:Okay, I don't actually understand why you don't have cats there.
Speaker 5:We've talked, I would totally bring a cat.
Speaker 1:Look here's the thing you can't really ask, because if you just bring a caddion, like I mean, if you, if you're like hey, can I bring a caddy, and they're better, no, people bring their dogs in.
Speaker 4:Yeah, okay, yeah, but then they piss everywhere.
Speaker 5:We don't like if we could bring one of our cats.
Speaker 2:They really doesn't matter, like in that same Shopping district or, as Wes and just caught it, the red light district. Well, I think it's phenomenal. Thank you for your brilliant production work, but I managed that gangsta play for six years, okay, so you guys are at the side too.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so you guys are talking about like dog. I had children pissing in my store. I had some woman walk up to me one day. She's like uh, sir, I guess she's like that child has his penis out, get has fucking boy. Look at every by my Wii U like demo unit. There's a kid just peeing in the floor.
Speaker 1:I don't know. There's a lot of levels to that that you can't deal with.
Speaker 2:We got his dad. I said listen your kids peeing in the floor. So he walks around and swoops up and puts his arms underneath kids pits, picks him up kids still dick and hand, just pissing all over the store. I like there's a trail that goes out the whole way out the store for the day.
Speaker 1:I mean no wait these two girls worked at Goodwill retail hell. Yeah, goodwill also, which is One of my favorite stores, but then they like for like five minutes they told me like two or three things and I was like fuck that place Immediately. So what's your experience? You like working at Goodwill. Was that fun?
Speaker 4:It was fun at first.
Speaker 1:The hype right yeah.
Speaker 5:You can't shop there. You can't shop there you can't shop there.
Speaker 1:If you want there, no, but you get it.
Speaker 5:You get a red discount though at other stores, but like it's an hour Hour, 45 minutes, like to the closest.
Speaker 1:I guess do you do like, do you check in stuff there, like at Goodwill, like I mean, are you the one that, like, put stuff on the shelves and stuff?
Speaker 2:Oh I, I did everything Okay so I guess there could be like if someone drops something off that actually goes off to a distribution center first and then back to you, I'll do y'all just take it in and go there.
Speaker 5:I'm supposed to do donations within the first 24 hours. Really like it needs to go from door to floor in 24 hours.
Speaker 2:So what if it doesn't meet the criteria to go to Florida? Y'all have just like a big chuck pile in the back or something, or Beware that it can't, it doesn't, pass their standards. If it's no, then it's good Things have changed a whole lot with Goodwill, though, because of people like my father in law, who also listen. Shout out I love you. You keep making your money but, like you, you've probably seen my father-in-law if you work over at that one. He is the reseller.
Speaker 5:What's his name?
Speaker 2:I'm not gonna, I'm not going out him Really yeah, like people are you just.
Speaker 1:I'll show you a picture.
Speaker 2:Listen, I'm not even kidding. Like he may like, foul tens of thousands of dollars in one year. Reseller.
Speaker 5:It's insane dude like here lately I've been buying a lot of Nike shit, but I don't like donating back to Goodwill, I like donating back to Salvation Army.
Speaker 2:Wow. I mean like I'm genuinely asking cuz I'm an educated like what's the difference?
Speaker 5:I don't know. I just feel like it's still big corporation. Like me and Lexi have had plenty lunch dates. Man like just I mean literally behind the corner store on that little perch Shit talking the hell out of that job.
Speaker 1:Ooh, you know what I discovered coming to the store? I Don't have to go over the speed bumps if I don't want to and just drift, and there's so many people back there that I'm like always good that way that man.
Speaker 2:When I worked at GameStop, I went that way, but here's the reason why like I didn't pay for trash where I lived at at the time, so I pulled my pickup a truck underneath their front porch. Not shove like all my garbage over into the bed of it and that driver back and use the store dumpster to throw out my garbage away. The not willing and go.
Speaker 5:I'm not surprised. That's funny, though, because at the at the story we're getting out, I'll wheel over the cardboard to get a goodwill buggy, you know get a goodwill buggy and push it through our store and then take our card word back to goodwill and just leave the buggy back.
Speaker 1:I know good wheels, like I know it's not. I don't want to like characterize people that like I Don't know man every time in goodwill, like 70% of the people in goodwill, like I don't feel like I should get near him.
Speaker 5:I remember so vividly. There was one time I was still working there and there was a customer and her husband walked up to her and he was like it smells musty in here, it's time to go. I was like, oh shit, man, that's how I feel too. I smell like that when I go home Musty.
Speaker 1:I mean, I think it smells like a closet, don't it Like? Goodwill smells like a closet. It's got a musty smell to it. I think it's the carpet.
Speaker 4:The old man comes and sprays the clothes. Oh yeah, fabrice Shut up.
Speaker 1:That's not a thing. Yeah, it is.
Speaker 4:He cleans the windows too.
Speaker 1:What does he like? He's like contracted to come for breeze the clothes. Oh, I have no idea. I don't see nothing because it worked there at all. He just does it OK, but like the fucking thing is whenever the work.
Speaker 5:Like they come in and they smell like they smell the smell. Oh, yeah, and then they freak out, like employees start freaking out, other customers start freaking out and then, like you know who it is? Yeah, automatically.
Speaker 1:Well, that's funny because, like there's the on the corner, that particular corner, all those places that particular smell right the, the clothing store there, just smells like cheap perfume. If you open the door and you're sitting in your car out there, you can smell the perfume Bale like.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, oh yeah, the whole place.
Speaker 1:It smells like old people. Yeah, and you know what it smells like cigarettes, I call built walking migraine. I actually like it.
Speaker 5:They, that's just the shit number that everybody goes to whenever they need to blow out the back of the toilet, but they don't want to do it at their own job.
Speaker 4:They'll swear to God and for all people, good toilets. It's not even a good toilet, it's just like backroom vibes.
Speaker 1:So you don't feel bad. We don't like it. We need to read.
Speaker 2:We've been a long time since we've had a toilet episode, I know when you go back We've not talked about shit.
Speaker 1:A whole lot Shout out Charlie, we've not talked about shit. It's been a long time. Wow, the good one.
Speaker 5:Oh, that was the worst you got a shit story.
Speaker 4:We have a shit story.
Speaker 1:Tell us the shit story. I have a shit story. I've had a shit story.
Speaker 5:Lekstie can go first.
Speaker 4:I've talked enough, that's crazy Her right now, so at Goodwill. So much is fucking shit all over the toilet, big dumpers. Oh we opened up the customer bathrooms and not even like a weekend. Someone blew it up Like somehow behind the toilet.
Speaker 5:The back of it.
Speaker 1:You know the thing, the shit that demon was on purpose, Right yeah, Obviously obviously premeditated.
Speaker 2:I don't want to say premeditated. It was meditated.
Speaker 1:It was at least thought about. Yeah, but like, why do people? I don't understand. Like you know, I feel like I've had pretty bad cases of fucking diarrhea, like a lot of spicy food. I feel like, you know, never have a shit on a wall. Covid, shit Did anybody? Yeah, covid.
Speaker 2:Those are brand different.
Speaker 1:I've not made it to the toilet and shit on the floor.
Speaker 5:Yeah, Shit on the floor.
Speaker 1:That gets cleaned up, the floor makes more sense, right.
Speaker 5:Were there underwear in the trash. Can that day I?
Speaker 4:can't remember. There was no way they didn't have it all over themselves.
Speaker 1:It was a woman, for sure.
Speaker 5:No, it wasn't. It was a man to me.
Speaker 2:No, I'm telling you right now, I've cleaned a lot of shitters. Women are disgusting.
Speaker 5:Oh no. Whenever I worked at Long John's back in high school, so like we would get in rushes and the women's bathroom didn't lock right, I would double knock and dude. I mean like whole, whole shoulder into that door If I didn't hear nobody.
Speaker 1:Nobody said.
Speaker 5:Literally was about to die of piss all myself. Open that door. The same way, there is somebody old lady squatting over the drain hole in the bathroom. I'm literally watching her shit and I'll just close that door so fast. This lady had shit everywhere.
Speaker 2:Like I don't even know what is it now?
Speaker 5:but had the audacity to come back out in the dining room and still eat with her family. Swear to God didn't even get out of the store. Like nothing happened. It was almost like mean and black, like she just, and it was gone the flyers, everyone look here.
Speaker 2:What's your right.
Speaker 5:Her underwear were in the trash can and everything. It was disgusting.
Speaker 1:We had to pull the water hose from the kitchen. Oh my God.
Speaker 5:Into the bathroom that day and had to spray the walls and everything you see.
Speaker 2:the only thing they're missing is a glorified shit.
Speaker 1:They even did Perfect. What's your guys? The bathroom situation like at the corner store.
Speaker 5:No, hot water heater, but it's okay.
Speaker 1:What's the toilet like?
Speaker 5:I know the girls. That was great. Oh nice, I bet that fucking men's bathrooms trashed mocking and shout out to hams yeah, sure God, I feel like it gets pretty gross.
Speaker 2:Men's bathroom is just like marinated piss, mm, hmm, See, 90% of the time what you find in the men's bathroom is gross piss because they've missed or whatnot, and it's probably worse than cell phones, right, my four year old barely misses.
Speaker 5:So, like I don't know what y'all are talking about, it's closer to the toilet. I don't know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean he's, he's basically like right on top of it.
Speaker 1:How could he miss?
Speaker 5:Yeah, if y'all pay attention when you piss, then he's three in the morning and I fucking like.
Speaker 4:I'm literally like if I'm at work, I'm 100% catching Pokemon.
Speaker 2:I'm taking a piece, man.
Speaker 5:She said or do you work at now.
Speaker 2:Same place. Okay, I respectfully.
Speaker 5:I would piss as I was going down the hallway.
Speaker 2:I wouldn't even give a shit, Literally like I'm not even lying when I'm taking any piss at work. I'm trying to catch termanders.
Speaker 4:I was like yeah, did you work there? What Sox? Yes.
Speaker 1:You did work there for a month. The new, the newer building like one were the most yeah Month solid.
Speaker 2:It's more than that. I never worked there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that bathroom that was our number one bathroom on my best bathrooms list was that bathroom at the front door, the one that locks the handicap?
Speaker 2:That was your number one. That's not my, fuck you.
Speaker 5:It's the best one, it is the best one and I loved it whenever I caught people out there and they were waiting on me and I took my dear, sweet mother fucking.
Speaker 1:It's got a fucking handle, just in case. I mean, you got a fucking like, you know it's got the grip and like, and then somebody come in there A squaudy potty, y'all need to invest in one of them. Yeah, for real. I feel like I said I'd sell squaudy parties. I don't use one, but I think you'd be a good.
Speaker 2:I wish you get that as a sponsorship. It's what he party. Yeah, I mean we talk about.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think everybody just stole their idea because it's just a stool, the circle cut out and I just don't think you're trash can if you're hard up and you do that.
Speaker 5:So that was one thing. I don't know if you ever came in the game.
Speaker 1:Hold on Bathroom. I put my arms under your home, on your.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So gangsta was so cheap that if anything broke, like in the bathroom, if it wasn't on, the production fully didn't give a shit about it. So like the actual flusher broke, yeah, I'm not going to spend in my own money to fix this thing. Fuck that, I ain't doing it. So I called my DM and a bunch of different people are like I'm just going to figure it out.
Speaker 1:Nothing we can do.
Speaker 2:So I know he doesn't listen to this, but my God, michael Peck is a genius. I know you've met Michael, yeah, no, he's hilarious. Takes his string, ties it down inside of the toilet, pulls it up somehow puts a hole through the ceramic, ties it to a nerf football and just sits the nerf ball on top of the toilet. So when you want to flush the toilet, you have to grab the nerf ball and rip it like a lawn mower you rip it and you'd flush the toilet Like that.
Speaker 1:bathroom was terrible, though.
Speaker 2:But my district manager finally came in. We were having the inventory and, like the regional director's coming in, he looked at he said what the fuck is.
Speaker 1:I only got to use it once because I'm an integer.
Speaker 2:I was like dude, I told you like six months ago, like we have a nerf toilet, Like what do you want me to do? He's like he literally gave him his, his card to go do something. Go fix this now. I was like OK. I mean, I'm not one fixed it with my money.
Speaker 1:But I'm going to call Mikey in a second the answers. I'm going to call him down and see if he answers. If he doesn't answer, we're going to yell at him.
Speaker 5:He says we got him anyway.
Speaker 1:He says yelling, he's loud. This is the first guy Mike, can you hear me? Hey, buddy, how are you hey?
Speaker 6:I'm good. I've just drank a bunch of liquor.
Speaker 1:That's good, I'm glad.
Speaker 2:I'm glad you did we don't drink here, not at all. We don't drink here. None, god, I love this. Some boys, they are. It's good to hear Got the last.
Speaker 6:Bring in like the last 20. Oh my God, you got. You got the queen.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, you nailed it, you called it.
Speaker 2:I told you, already moves my baby.
Speaker 5:Oh guys, I've spent the last 20 minutes.
Speaker 6:I've had my privates punched by every young child of my friends. All these kids were in the man I can't. Russ was like come to Labor Day at my house and all the kids we know we're going to kick here. Yeah, it was like they all were waiting on me To jump me the little kids. So I got yes, so I got liquored up and I kicked their ass. So I got a question, mikey.
Speaker 2:And like I don't know if you admitted- to child abuse.
Speaker 1:Let's just fill this back by a few layers here.
Speaker 2:So are they just walking up and like inadvertently hitting you in the dick, or like you standing up and they're using your sack like a speed back and like a gym Dude.
Speaker 6:it was a straight Me, opening a door, and a Nerf dart goes to my eye, hits my glasses, and then a kid, like a little kid, hits you in the nuts, then my friend smart, they bought his little girl. Yeah, oh, they hate adults. I don't know, but I don't blame them.
Speaker 1:Maybe you shouldn't go to the carnival so much.
Speaker 6:Everybody loves me Love the shit and that and that, and that's why you called me. We just wanted to call and see if you were alive, because you weren't able to make it down here I've been trying, I've been trying really hard to be deceased, but I can't die. You're like all these fucking nozzborn.
Speaker 1:You can't die.
Speaker 2:That's what it is.
Speaker 1:I can't die.
Speaker 6:So you guys are doing your podcast. You all have been kicking ass.
Speaker 1:Hey, we appreciate it, man. Been trying to get you on a while. You're going to have to come in person because the people who live further away than you made it here.
Speaker 6:Yeah, is it? I literally stay at my mom's like 10 minutes from you. It's not even 10 minutes, it's a minute and a half.
Speaker 2:It lives between me and this place.
Speaker 6:Yeah, we'll bring the book. We'll do a boy episode because I know the girls are.
Speaker 5:Can we have a want, want, want in a chat?
Speaker 1:Hold on, hold on, let me get it. Having a boy episode. They think they're just not here because they're girls.
Speaker 6:Have you guys been kicking massive ass. I bet the girls have blew you guys's mind.
Speaker 2:Well, what's funny is we were talking about things you can and can't say on this episode, and they're like Mikey, when you bring him online, we'll literally say the Z word, that the one word that we shouldn't say on this episode. And you came in and not even one sentence in crushed it.
Speaker 1:So you have, you have, you have met your expectations.
Speaker 5:Andrew passes the test.
Speaker 1:You see, if Andrew.
Speaker 5:Shit about it, just be like coast right on through. See what's up.
Speaker 6:Talking about a shit show. If Andrew's got man, I'll put it this way I am so glad I quit my goddamn job at side.
Speaker 2:Yeah, go on it.
Speaker 6:Go off on it. Let's hear it. Yeah like me thinking about it on the way down.
Speaker 2:Listen everybody. Stop talking and give this man his 10 minutes of just podium talk. Ready go.
Speaker 6:Man, I would say this that I literally worked at. So I moved to Virginia and there's nothing fucking there to do Like preach. We've, we've literally started. I mean, there was nothing to do in goddamn White'sburg, but I feel like we all, we all knew how to carve out our own way. You know, like does see you open the goddamn game store. Dude, you made us part so we could all fuck off. Yeah, you know that was the problem.
Speaker 2:He made a place where I could fuck off, but he didn't actually make a business.
Speaker 6:Yeah.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 6:It was a it was a good run with a good fucking time. But like you know I mean literally from like being when you're in your hometown you cut out your own way, but when you move to a new place, you fucking, you don't even know where to fucking start.
Speaker 1:Yeah you only know where Hardie's is. Yeah.
Speaker 6:Yeah, dude, I knew where a chicken biscuit was, yeah, like. So like I moved to Virginia and fucking hated it and I got a job at Sykes and I worked there for five years and I don't give a fuck to call it Sykes, because it's went through 30 names, like hey and.
Speaker 1:I want to point out that you were pretty good at your job. I know you pretend like you weren't, but you got praised there a lot.
Speaker 6:Yeah and dude, they would even ask me to be like, hey, will you break up his fucking conflict? And I'm like sure you know. But yeah, that was the thing, but also the best thing I've ever heard shout out to Kelly Lane. She'll probably never know.
Speaker 6:I said that, but I really loved her Like the best goddamn coach from day one. I sat down and started that shitty goddamn job and she knows it sucks and like I sat down and she looked at me and was like you have to fake it till you make it you just like that's pretty. Yeah, and I was like I'll do my best and she was like just bullshit and but she looked at me and she was like if you ever cross the fucking line, I will fuck you up.
Speaker 6:Like and dude that's all she had to do. You know like if you stay in your goddamn lane, mikey, you can fuck off as much as you want, but just go on.
Speaker 2:Just get your job done.
Speaker 1:But you got your there and now you work at the corner store where you love to work, and I'm sure you yeah, dude.
Speaker 6:Dude, I fucking quit that shitty goddamn job and I felt like, literally, I like discovered four best friends I never had.
Speaker 5:We have a, we have that was sweet and that's what we have that cute little, that little moment at the store that we're not, and we just cried and it was so nice and we watched the sunset. I'll never forget that.
Speaker 1:That's part of you think like he's sweet now. You should know him when he was.
Speaker 2:Oh my, God, he should know who's fat. Is that what you just said?
Speaker 6:Oh, dude, he was sweet when he was fat, and that's the thing man, every person that, every person that works in our little fucking weird atmosphere of what we do, like the crew that actually works there and you got you know when you come there. Just you see like we're all tight as fuck man.
Speaker 6:Yeah, I love it and I just like, and if there's an old red neck ass dude that's going to come in and try to step to one of the girls and be weird, you better believe it. The boys are either going to kiss each other or going to talk about our painted nails.
Speaker 5:So she comments about the pain and nails.
Speaker 1:Already, and it's that's my favorite, so sometimes my favorite type of person that comes in there and I've talked to Mikey about it before it's like the, the great part about your, your job is like the different people who come in that you see that are from totally different like walks of life. You know and and have the same experience. You know and that's and it's so it's, so, it's, it's awesome. When you're in there it's like totally different. You know those people and then us just hanging out.
Speaker 5:Shout out to the people who try stuff like we got a veggie guy and an egg guy who has his fresh eggs.
Speaker 1:That's legit.
Speaker 5:It's, it's super cool Chicken nugget man.
Speaker 4:We should be sponsored by Red Bull and Wendy's because like Liquid, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Definitely liquid death.
Speaker 5:Yeah, you got anything else buddy.
Speaker 1:I'll listen before we let this man go.
Speaker 2:Give this man a chance to plug it.
Speaker 1:ban Plug it ban man. Yeah, I'll say this.
Speaker 2:This past week.
Speaker 6:We don't have very many family like arguments among us where we work because we all get along so well. But there was a. There was a customer like a Bree said that we have an egg man and we have a guy that's like that's what we do. And then we have a guy that we have an egg man and we got like the pickled people that bring all this weird pickled foods Like it's real, it's real fucking strange.
Speaker 2:Wendy Frosty guy too.
Speaker 6:Yeah, and sometimes you just need a chocolate frost? Yeah, but we got a goddamn moonshine man and this moonshine man comes in and he brings a jar of moonshine.
Speaker 5:So much my keeper. Yeah, I could have cried that day, him and hammy.
Speaker 6:You'll never get a hand me on the podcast because he's a scrooge, but he's a big, sweet heart asshole I definitely, I tried it.
Speaker 1:I did everything in my power to buy another day when I was there and was like I just I was like you come on too, and he was like he ignored that question.
Speaker 5:He would dip out on us like anytime we would hit Rena's. He'd be like yeah, I'm coming, and then be like he gave me a hard no with his eyes.
Speaker 6:But so moonshine man comes, dude, and he, he gives a pretty, really nice package like wrapped up and. He even put that like frilly fucking crinkled paper in it.
Speaker 5:You know, I donated him back. George, I gave him George.
Speaker 6:He wouldn't have to buy伊. I drink all of Bree's liquor with you.
Speaker 5:Oh, okay, there we go, and hammy, okay, okay, I.
Speaker 6:I will. I will say that I drank more than hammy. That's why I feel the worst.
Speaker 4:Yeah, but like yeah, I'm sorry, man.
Speaker 6:That's okay, I love it but I'll let you guys enjoy your night, but I will plug that band.
Speaker 2:Plug that band for you.
Speaker 6:Oh yeah, season of the PS. Southwest Virginia's finest fucking. Yeah, witchy boys, yeah we're. We started in a basement and and Now we play with bands that were dickheads to us and they open for us. So we're really fucking trying and finding you on. Instagram. You can find us on Instagram. Sees another witch. If you type in like season of the witch, 420 weed, southwest Virginia fuzz, you'll find it like Listen, that's it you know, everybody thinks we're a weed band, but worse we're like. Are you afraid of the dark band?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I embrace that. I love that. You got one. My favorite people in the whole entire world on that band. I love it. That's dude, I love it, cook.
Speaker 6:shout out to that motherfucker.
Speaker 4:I love that. I got a guitar that needs fixed.
Speaker 6:Yeah, the rules. He did him up, he's my season of the witch Holler at us. We will play a bar mitzvah, fucking funeral.
Speaker 5:I want you to play it. I want to make the birthday party.
Speaker 6:Anything. But yeah, I would wholeheartedly hundred percent say quit your goddamn job you hate. Because when you're so fucking mad and what like, oh, believe me, I get mad at the job now, but immediately I can see, I can see. I can see Ali or Andrew or Bre or hammy Definitely legsy.
Speaker 5:That's for last, maybe best for last.
Speaker 6:Yeah, I can see all my people and know that, like I'm not at a call center fucking wanting to kill myself, I'm with my crew you preaching to the choir, baby yeah. Yeah, I'm with my crew and if somebody steps, andrew's gonna make him feel weird and we're gonna. Yeah, we got it. Dude, we hold each other's bandana is like we're in prison in that motherfucker. Yeah, I love you all so much. Yeah, I remember we're gonna get drunk, but one day, I mean, we'll do a he's going to get drunk.
Speaker 1:It's not there yet.
Speaker 6:Yeah, dude, I've just popped the top.
Speaker 2:Sorry, come, come be live in the studio. You say when, brother, yeah.
Speaker 6:Love. What is that? Live video, like you did the scary guy, but it'll be me bringing all my yard cell finds in.
Speaker 2:Well it's not to bring in my wife for that, like that was her favorite thing like every Saturday for years. I.
Speaker 6:So much. When you get the hell, tell them herbal scares sent you girls. Be safe on the fucking way home. And let me know you made it.
Speaker 1:Jesus.
Speaker 5:Chaotic. I love it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'll do good never know what to expect. What it was.
Speaker 2:That's beautiful.
Speaker 1:We're gonna call Andrew.
Speaker 5:Andrew, you do it the best you guys want to do Okay.
Speaker 3:I'm gonna call Andrew.
Speaker 4:I told him I'm gonna call him. I told him.
Speaker 1:I was gonna call him two minutes ago, 15 minutes ago.
Speaker 5:Two minutes, you've got the socials.
Speaker 2:Just emulating, like the clowns, I think he's not gonna, you guys know anything.
Speaker 3:Hey buddy.
Speaker 1:Hey, andrew, you're live on 103 9.
Speaker 2:The fuck. I was going to say, you want a free cat. So I guess that just kind of undoes all.
Speaker 1:You wanted.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's trying to give away cats they got murdered by Someone and he had two paintings commissioned and they're in one of the rooms that are business.
Speaker 5:Oh, I same one today. Okay, is that like for real though? Yeah, yeah okay, cause like Mike. I thought he was josh and like hella hard but Mikey also.
Speaker 1:I think milk did a lot like see if you, if you ever seen the podcaster bobby.
Speaker 5:She know another bobby.
Speaker 1:It's literally just bobby you. You remind me you do that podcast so great. You know what I'm talking about. You seen her? She interviews like she interviewed drake, like laying in the bed, the woman that has no emotion.
Speaker 2:No emotion, what's the way? So you shared that with me the other day and, like it's my favorite dude, I fucking love it.
Speaker 5:She could do that. You could just play the dead face and be like yeah.
Speaker 4:She asked like awkward questions.
Speaker 1:That'd be awesome, andrew, how you doing.
Speaker 3:Man, my guts are going nuts. I have my it's that monoray, the back of the sex shop today.
Speaker 1:You ate eggs out the back of the sex shop today.
Speaker 3:I did man so many boiled eggs and mystery baked beans.
Speaker 1:Honestly, I wish you'd explain what you're talking about.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna need more information.
Speaker 5:That's all that needs to be said is Sandra.
Speaker 3:You don't like boiled eggs.
Speaker 2:I love boiled eggs, but I'm like I didn't know I could get them with the sex shop. Yeah, that's the part we need more information on, so bold eggs. Cool sex shop.
Speaker 3:Cool, how do they collaborate and come together I just go in there for male enhancers named after I think it's the eggs that people give us and they stick them out their butts and they just like boiled the eggs in their butts and that's how they serve me.
Speaker 2:I am so confused. What is your essence going? You know?
Speaker 1:what's intense is. I think you and Mikey might have had a competition who can be most extreme on the podcast? And you're still behind.
Speaker 3:Oh no, he was on the podcast.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we called him before we called you.
Speaker 3:I'm gonna see him, didn't you see him?
Speaker 5:today. I should call him that's what Andrew's thinking right now I should call him.
Speaker 1:You should call him. Can we do three way calls? Are we 14? I think that's cool.
Speaker 2:Listen back from the dad. We even had like 14 people in line at one time. He's drunk, though.
Speaker 3:So, we agreed no three ways.
Speaker 5:Hey, it's always better in a three way or that one song that's by lady gaga and just in Timberlake, that's all it's called. It's called three way and it's by lady gaga and I'm pretty sure has just in Timberlake in it and like the whole song just about having a threesome. That's so weird. It's always better and it's like.
Speaker 1:I literally know, I know there's a song clip that in on the end. There's just I'll give it. Add that on the rocks music. That's how we have to end that we're gonna get a tag for that one. We don't know. The rocks music.
Speaker 5:Yeah, andrew, do you know what she's?
Speaker 1:talking about. I think it's like a snl skit or something also want to make sure people are clear this is not andy p.
Speaker 2:This is a different.
Speaker 1:Andrew that works the corner store With, on the streets from the corner store. Well, it's not extreme.
Speaker 2:The more you guys explain, the more it more legitimately sounds like the red light district.
Speaker 1:It is the red light district.
Speaker 3:We're a share program. We share stories.
Speaker 1:We do share a lot of stories silly goofy stories.
Speaker 5:That's a good way.
Speaker 3:I've been putting uh, I've been putting de con rat poison in some of our things, jesus Christ, that manager face be like.
Speaker 5:Dude um my manager's still there a little bit, yeah, a little bit Oops.
Speaker 3:I didn't hear I've been calling it pest control. I thought it was kind of cool.
Speaker 1:Do you? Are they keeping a separate drawer? Because it seems like maybe you get mine out of a separate drawer.
Speaker 3:Sometimes we kind of like rush and roulette them and just throw them in with the like that.
Speaker 1:This game shows calm. Is it rat poison?
Speaker 5:He literally promotes. Like that though he's a de con rat poison. And like he's just a while in this shadow kill you.
Speaker 1:What's awesome is everybody in there Is really good at their job. It's so funny that you said that, because we also got complimented when we went into.
Speaker 5:I went into another one of our stores today, that's. All I talked about was how good our store was. Well, you're awesome. And I was like hell yeah.
Speaker 2:I got something to be proud of sure, when you guys were talking about like the roulette thing. The only thing that keeps falling from my head, and I don't know why, is like it makes me want to play borderlands and like clap trap, like you're just sitting here like going to try to get a random weapon, but instead it's poison apparently.
Speaker 3:There's so many times I would just melee that thing.
Speaker 2:Listen, he's the greatest NPC of all time. We all know it.
Speaker 1:Mikey says um, mikey, let me tell you what Mikey said, and it offended, I think, everybody may be, except for he's really nice, so we let him buy with it. But he said um, have an episode that's guys and not the girls, so you and him have to come over and, uh, everybody else, the shop, I mean, you know does that mean that we get to call in on their episode? You guys are gonna call in yeah, you guys can just show up, yeah, when they're here.
Speaker 5:Hey, it can be like rena 911 whenever they bust in and like all kinds of crazy shit orphan. Yep.
Speaker 3:Yeah, andrew um there's clothing options.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh, we're all naked right now.
Speaker 3:I'm recording best when I'm naked. I actually, I actually thank you are naked.
Speaker 1:Jesus?
Speaker 2:Well, of course it's getting closer to my keys. Yeah, you get closer to my kid. Now he's getting closer to my kid, getting closer to my kid, everybody loves the shit show.
Speaker 3:Do you take your clothes off me?
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's actually a good question.
Speaker 1:I only put my clothes on to come to you.
Speaker 5:Can you braze with your underwear on?
Speaker 1:I when I eat in my kitchen at two in the morning, it's called Winnie the Poohing.
Speaker 5:Yes, I'm a Winnie the Pooh mom.
Speaker 1:It's just a t-shirt. There's no, there's nothing else.
Speaker 5:Well, I have an underwear on.
Speaker 4:Oh, I don't, it's just a t-shirt.
Speaker 1:They're long t-shirts like Winnie the Pooh wears.
Speaker 5:Yeah, dresses.
Speaker 4:I hope Winnie the Pooh shirt isn't warm.
Speaker 5:It's a crop top. Yes, you're telling me. You got your titties out at midnight in your kitchen and you dick and balls about to maybe a lot about wearing a shirt. But I snaked in your kitchen. What an animal. Free reign. Free reign in your own home.
Speaker 1:That's what I do, literally not me bro.
Speaker 2:Like if the wrong guy.
Speaker 1:If my wife's working and I take my kids to school, I feel like. That's something different if you're the only person in the house as soon as I come home, I'm like that scene from Bruce Almighty when he like, like, puts his arms back and close, come off. That's how I'm here. As soon as I'm in the house I'm not my dad randomly walks in Andrew was here when it happened.
Speaker 2:I can see Thurman walking in just taking his clothes off.
Speaker 1:And you get home from work.
Speaker 3:Soon as I get home, the shirt comes off. I'm where my boss, my house, lights work, because I feel like that's my house now.
Speaker 5:We walk in one day and Andrew's just, but I snaked in the front window.
Speaker 1:Well, the picture of the dog hanging up did add to it been very homie. There's a couch, it's a fucking house.
Speaker 5:Hey, we've talked about that. Then like futons in the back because we got space.
Speaker 3:Yo, I love futons we just have a picture of Jesus back there and I really miss that. I would pray to it every time I went to the room. I was murdered a boomer they have to be the worst customers ever. I really hate old people. I just want to throw that out there. Sorry, if there's any old listeners, probably not, they don't know.
Speaker 1:No, I don't think that's our demographic.
Speaker 5:Tell me you're a judgey bastard.
Speaker 2:Demographic is the demographic.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's, that's fire. We know I'm his favorite customer anyway.
Speaker 5:Can we like give a shout out to the oldies on Sundays, and I'm even the church crowd, but it's the other way you all get a church crowd. I don't think it's a church.
Speaker 2:But do you ever get a church crowd though?
Speaker 5:I can only think of like maybe a handful of couples that like look real straight. It's like that the dress is.
Speaker 2:There's some real posers out there Like legit. When I used to run I used to manage a like mom and pop video store that had an adult room in it. The church folk that hop up in that room was a plenty.
Speaker 5:Used to have a list at soft petals of people who swung oh, yeah that was like a thing. They had a list that doesn't.
Speaker 1:That makes sense. They do that tana beds too. What Andrew?
Speaker 5:I believe that oh my god. I think I've been in every single room and not one of them has a hole through the wall.
Speaker 1:But you know who says that people use whorehouse cuz.
Speaker 4:You can't find it? My dick's not big enough.
Speaker 5:No, that's, that's great like she wouldn't say anything like that.
Speaker 1:I don't like she's giving you the steak out through.
Speaker 2:She's giving her, give me manager. Looks Like see. And nobody was I love not being the manager, andrew scrutiny right now.
Speaker 1:First time for everything.
Speaker 2:It's great.
Speaker 1:So great, andrew. You have any questions for our guests?
Speaker 5:What do you work tomorrow Um?
Speaker 4:it's so we what do you work?
Speaker 1:tomorrow, she said. It's our 30th episode and it's oh yeah, could you hear those people clapping? Yeah, there's a bunch of people here clapping. It's our 30th episode and tomorrow's Unpaid lunch holiday, because it's labor day and we're totally against that. Are you working?
Speaker 2:No, fuck work, fuck work. You're fucking job shit listen he's the one that proponent of that. I'm the one sitting over here trying to like be the angel on people's shoulders at time, trying to reel them back in a little bit.
Speaker 1:Andrew, I Love you. Man, come on in person and then the girls can call in. You can give them shit.
Speaker 3:I.
Speaker 1:Love you, man. I'll talk to you soon. See you that was funny.
Speaker 6:He's funny, you'd like I think so yeah you'd like him so.
Speaker 1:He'll come on in the future. I'd worry about it.
Speaker 2:No, like you said, though, like the whole quitting the job thing, like if you find me a better one. Oh, honey, I will or this thing blows up.
Speaker 5:You need released of those shackles.
Speaker 1:Listen, go off.
Speaker 5:Yeah, go off for real. Okay, pull this, cuz I don't know if I did sign any legalities on that. I don't give a fuck about socks, but uh. Look at matters earth link though.
Speaker 1:Fuck that shit.
Speaker 5:Pop the fuck off.
Speaker 1:We had a lot of people Bob didn't that shit. People left my, my place for there.
Speaker 5:I don't know why no, it's cuz.
Speaker 1:It's all like it's. They're all an illusion, like Lie to you about something so I Great they all get you there and like, drink the Kool-Aid.
Speaker 4:It's like CDG. What's that? Civic development group? There's a really good documentary about it. It's called telemarketers.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I see the ad for it and, like, I added it to like my, my watch list. So it's like I'm gonna fucking dig into that. I'm excited to watch that cuz I've done that. I done the worst call center job.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, I Really bad.
Speaker 1:I've done tell marketing so Great show. Yeah, enjoyed you guys being here was awesome.
Speaker 5:I'm glad I didn't get lost or Reckon.
Speaker 1:I still am not sure the way you came in because, like the way you shouldn't come in is over this mountain that you might have Just thought it's normal because you guys from Virginia and all the road don't actually my mountain.
Speaker 2:I'm a Haiman Hill takes people over Haiman. Hill what it is to take people, I guess we've ever had.
Speaker 1:It takes them over Haiman Hill to get here.
Speaker 5:I use Apple Maps, so it's fucked anyways and thinks that, like a slot curve in the road is a full blown term.
Speaker 1:If you didn't go by BP.
Speaker 5:I went by BP to the left.
Speaker 4:Fuck yeah.
Speaker 2:Go back that way, please so you have like three options you come through by BP, which is good, right, that that is. That's the silver lining path. And then you have a Haiman Hill watch I think is incredibly shitty. Yeah but if you've never been around here and you have to come over like they decay from Tokyo Drift, like my mountain freaking Dunham, dunham is not worse than Haiman.
Speaker 1:Dunham can be if you don't know how to drive it Like if you've never been on that hill it looks like Just there's roads carved through literal mountains like there's nowhere.
Speaker 5:There's nothing.
Speaker 1:One line like the whole way 72 yeah, you should take a look through Rockhouse, yeah yeah, take a look at the Rockhouse.
Speaker 2:We're done, I'm gonna change it.
Speaker 5:I live in North Carolina and Franklin and we had a gorge to so Kind of one of the things like as we wrap up here.
Speaker 2:Like I know, there's a lot of things that didn't get captured on this episode because it was not caught on recording. I've learned a lot today. Yeah, I like to say I've learned a lot today.
Speaker 1:I told you they were gonna be. They were gonna be informative guests for you this cats fucked up that.
Speaker 2:So there's like this little stuffed cat that just appeared out of nowhere and it looks like Dusty's actual real life living cat it's tripping me the fuck out, but definitely glad you guys came in.
Speaker 2:I feel like I've been educated completely. For those of you that do not follow us on the social media is definitely check us out and paid lunch on tiktok Instagram. I was actually told the other day that I can't say fuck meta anymore when we're talking about Facebook. Why? Because it owns Instagram. Oh, I got work. So, nate, thank you for educating me on that. He's like I twitch every time you say fuck meta because you're literally shouting out Instagram. He's like you're a pleb. I was like thank you, I really needed that hard treatment.
Speaker 1:So I don't know what you don't know.
Speaker 2:I really appreciate that, but definitely on Instagram, tiktok, on all social media platforms you know, other than Facebook.
Speaker 1:Definitely check us out there.
Speaker 2:For any type of delivery that we have on podcast delivery devices check that out or even on things kind of obscure like Deezer. So definitely check that out. If you want to pick up any rare episodes, definitely subscribe there. Definitely. Look forward to having the guys next time and see if we can call it in the gals, it was all not mean it's not mean, I just want to see how it fleups, because next time we can see how appalling they can be when they call yeah.
Speaker 5:I can just oh, if that's the case and I'm gonna be wrong choose.
Speaker 1:You are gonna be main danger when you call I.
Speaker 5:Know you are I know you are. I have to ask have you watched my own friends? Because I know this is about quitting your job. But if you really want to watch something and like laugh, you're digging the dirt about it.
Speaker 2:Sometimes, what's going on right now?
Speaker 5:just look into it, it's smiling friends yeah right now right.
Speaker 1:What everybody doesn't know, what everybody doesn't see is the funny is like I'm the most unprepared. Rhino has a notepad and it's like the only thing on the table that's not from just like a guest that we've had, and his notepad has the wildest notes on it and it's and it's my favorite stuff that he has always wrote down and he takes all the notes of the time when we take a break and shit.
Speaker 2:Yeah. I know it's got a little extra diddling from way over here.
Speaker 5:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Sees some of the other episodes, like it gets real quiet, obscure, like he's looking at, he's like what the fuck is he right now? I'm gonna worry about it. No, but it's not yours, my book.
Speaker 1:Y'all got anything else. Y'all got anything you want to say we leave. Say what you want to say. This, this is it. Say it.
Speaker 4:Bring your ID.
Speaker 2:Bring your ID to the corner store.
Speaker 5:Really fucking old and we do not give a single fuck.
Speaker 1:People like not bring their ID and they're like come on.
Speaker 5:You know me? What if I know I don't?
Speaker 1:I literally have no idea who you are.
Speaker 5:I've said that before.
Speaker 1:It's just pay the plan of us.
Speaker 5:Doofens.
Speaker 2:You got anything else right? I'm good brother. I'm confused and I just want to bed.
Speaker 1:Hey, y'all remember like nobody stopped you for quitting your job, but you. What is thanks for that cat up there?
Speaker 4:You.